I've done this the last two years. It's harmless, it's fun, and I'd like to keep it going. Besides, this is supposed to be a fun event, not as serious as the sportscasters are making it seem. So tonight, I'll stomach Joe Buck, I'll get through all of that crap, but for something fun, something worthwhile.
And now, the starting lineups. First, the AL:
Leading off for the American League, the center fielder, from the Los Angeles Angels....MIKE TROUT!
(Loud Applause)
Batting second, the third baseman, starting his second All Star Game in a row, from the Toronto Blue Jays...JOSH DONALDSON!
Batting third, the first baseman, MAKING HIS TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO THE ALL-STAR GAME...from the Los Angeles Angels...ALBERT PUJOLS!!!
Batting cleanup for the AL, the designated hitter, starting his second All Star Game in a row, from the Seattle Mariners...NELSON CRUZ!
Batting fifth, the right-fielder, from the Kansas City Royals...LORENZO CAIN!
Batting sixth, the left-fielder, starting his THIRD STRAIGHT All-Star Game...from the Baltimore Orioles....ADAM JONES!!!
Batting seventh, behind the plate tonight for the AL, making his second straight appearance at the All-Star Game, from the Kansas City Royals...SALVADOR PEREZ!
Batting eighth for the AL, the second baseman, from the Houston Astros...JOSE ALTUVE!
Batting ninth for the AL, playing shortstop, from the Kansas City Royals...ALCIDES ESCOBAR!
AND WARMING UP IN THE BULLPEN, tonight's starting pitcher, from the Houston Astros...DALLAS KEUCHEL!
And now the National League roster...
Leading Off for the NL for the second year in a row, the center fielder, from the Pittsburgh Pirates...ANDREW....MCCUTCHEN!!
Batting second...the third baseman (the crowd begins to cheer loud enough that they can hear it in Alaska)...FROM YOUR CINCINNATI REDS...YOUR HOME RUN DERBY CHAMPION...TODD FRAZIER!
Batting third, the right fielder, from the Washington Nationals...BRYCE HARPER!
Batting cleanup for the NL, the first baseman, making his second consecutive start, from the Arizona Diamondbacks...PAUL GOLDSCHMIDT!
Batting in the five spot, the catcher, also starting his 2nd consecutive All Star Game, from the WORLD CHAMPION SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS...BUSTER POSEY!
Batting sixth, tonight, he is your Designated Hitter...from the Chicago Cubs...ANTHONY RIZZO!
Seventh in the order for the NL, at short, from the St. Louis Cardinals...JHONNY PERALTA!
Batting eighth tonight, the left fielder, from the Los Angeles Dodgers...JOC PEDERSON!
And last in the order tonight, but not in our hearts, the second baseman, from the Colorado Rockies...DJ LeMAHIEU!!
Warming up in the 'pen for the NL...tonight's starter, from the Los Angeles Dodgers...ZACK GREINKE!!
Alright, let's have a nice, clean, awesome game.
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