Where Hamilton Won't Go

 

This is Josh.

Josh isn't especially happy right now, since his team isn't even pretending to make an offer, to keep him around. Also, after a play that basically cost his team the AL East, he's on the outs in baseball.

So where does he go? Here are some teams that I'm almost definitely sure will not take Josh Hamilton.

•  Pirates. Dead broke, already having a decent outfielder. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Josh wouldn't fit.
• Padres. Same thing. They can't afford him.
• Matter of fact, let's also eliminate the teams that definitely can't afford Josh Hamilton. Sorry Blue Jays, Astros, Cubs, Mariners and Royals.
• Indians. They're just rich enough to escape the previous category. Then again, Terry Francona could snatch him up.
• Phillies. They may be desperate, but they're not stupid.
• Mets. Ya think David Wright would enjoy sharing a clubhouse with that guy?
• Tigers. Because Jim Leyland's been searching high and low for a drinking buddy for Miguel Cabrera. Actually, they're on here because I absolutely, positively do not want this to happen. Miggy, Prince and Hamilton on the same lineup? I get shivers.
• Rangers. Already been discussed.
• Yankees. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No. 

 So that narrows the playing field a bit. Then again, I could be wrong. One of these teams could very well pick Josh up for next season.

Just not the Yankees.