I have a sweet sixteen to go to tomorrow night, and it's pretty nice, because it'll be a small party the night before attending one of the hugest sporting events of the year. But I needed to get a card, and I needed to get an iTunes gift card, because that's what 16-year-olds like, evidently.
I couldn't have planned this more perfectly. Because the one place I needed to go for this gift was the one place I'd been wanting to go to since the release of series one.
...Hello, Target. My, what an excellent selection of new product you have.
Long story short, I got TWO RACK PACKS and ONE HANGER BOX of the stuff. Proudly about to be ripped. I will take on the rack packs here, and drag out the Series One train in a couple hours with the box.
FIRST CARD OF THE YEAR HISTORY THUS FAR:
2010- Omar Vizquel
2011- Michael Cuddyer
2012- Yadier Molina
2013- Kendrys Morales
Rack Pack 1-
The first card of 2014 is...
53- CLAY BUCHHOLZ. You know, I am willing to ignore the fact that Clay plays for the evil empire to appreciate his star power. Besides, James Earl Jones kicked ass on the Big Bang Theory last night. Villains are apparently epic these days.
101- Chris Nelson.
307- Jake Peavy, another Red Sock.
290- Chad Bettis, a pitcher for the Rockies who the team is really hope can pitch, seeing as their last reliable pitcher left in 2012.
100- BRYCE HARPER. One pack into 2014 Topps and I get the money card.
166- Dustin Pedroia. THREE! THREE RED SOX! AH AH AHHH!
42- Mariano. F--king. Rivera. I was told that this card was excellent, and I couldn't agree more. I think that Mo deserves a card as good as this. Well done, Topps.
39- David Murphy. Another excellent card for the king of awesome Topps cards.
294- Leaders- NL WINS
People I am not surprised are on this list: Jordan Zimmerman, Clayton Kershaw, Francisco Liriano, Adam Wainwright
People I am surprised are on this list: Jorge de la Rosa. No offense.
262- Jeff Keppinger GOLD #'D TO 2014. And it's someone I've heard of, too!
322- Emilio Bonifacio. I forget if this guy's still in Kansas City, but he's a lot of fun.
254- Brett Gardner, who, at 30, is still the youngest member of the Yankees' outfield.
65- Hisashi Iwakuma, who has become a nice second man for Felix Hernandez.
223- Joaquin Benoit
276- ALFONSO SORIANO!!! WOOHOO!
202- Jeremy Hellickson
244-Danny Farquhar, who is not as short as that name sounds like.
139- Rafael Betancourt
200- DEREK! JETER! I don't care if he's gonna be forty. He's one of the greatest Yankees of all time.
300- YUUUUUUUU DARVISH! Man, if he keeps it up he's gonna be dangerous.
70- Marcell Ozuna
239- Jeff Samardzija
124- Jay Bruce, who is basically just Joey Votto's sidekick at this point.
193- Ricky Nolasco, now on some team which I forget.
192- Pedro Alvarez, grinning and raising his arms.
274- Johnny Gomes. Another pompous shot of a Red Sock.
182- CARLOS RUIZ LIME PARALLEL. I honestly don't care what people think. I like these.
Upper Class insert of Buster Posey, which is a bit boring.
The Future is Now insert of Manny Machado, which looks pretty cool.
Gerrit Cole 50 Years of the Draft, which is an improvement.
32- Reymond Fuentes
83- Jonathan Schoop. This man will be taking over for Brian Roberts. Good luck, kid.
97- Alex Gordon
213- Justin Smoak, who is basically done being taken seriously
286- Josh Fields
41- Adeiny Hechavarria, one of the few talents on the Marlins.
102- Matt Lindstrom
258- Jon Lester. And the Sox...keep...coming.
10- Junior Lake
272- Carlos Villanueva, with a mustache straight out of a 1930's serial.
196- COLE HAMELS. He's married to a Survivor. No, Larry David, not that kind of survivor. Cole's wife got fifth place on Survivor: Amazon, and posed for playboy. Way to go Cole.
154- Chris Iannetta. Still?
259- 2013 WS Game SI- Oh gosh I love this card. Papi and the helmet makes this so awesome.
47- Chris Davis Checklist
218- Matt Dominguez
204- AAAAAAAAADRIIIAAANNNNN Gonzalez RED SHINY PARALLEL
273- Mark DeRosa. JUST RETIRE ALREADY
87- Tyson Ross.
238- Alberto Callapso
147- Jason Frasor
310- Neftali Feliz. They're talking about moving him to the rotation. DON'T.
81- Anibal Sanchez
280- Everth Cabrera
171- Trevor Rosenthal
18- Future Star Jurickson Profar.
297- Max Scherzer, the Cy Young winner
141- Chris Tillman
251- Sergio Romo, the new closer for the Giants, no thanks in part to another, more famous beard.
289- Matt Thornton. Now a Yankee.
285- Jonathan Lucroy
164- Jaime Garcia, the lone 'meh' pitcher of the Cardinals rotation.
143- Leaders- NL RBI
People I was not surprised were on this list: Paul Goldschmidt, Jay Bruce, Adrian Gonzalez, Hunter Pence
People I was surprised to see on this list: Marlon Byrd, Allen Craig
142- Zack Greinke LIIIIIME PARALLEL!
89 mini of NOLAN RYAN! THAT'S AWESOME!
Upper Class of Jim Abbott, which is pretty cool.
The Future is Now insert of Jean Segura. Does anyone else besides me pronounce his name as John?
260- Zoilo Almonte
3- Jarrod Dyson
184- Yunel Escobar pointing at the camera
67- Yasmani Grandal
264- Huston Street, still a nice closer
247- Anthony Gose
Those were some nice packs. I will open the hanger box later.