In the Post 5000 (or 6000)

 

Over 14 years of doing this blog, I have officially pressed publish 5,000 times on posts. That's wild to me. It's probably wild to y'all as well. Can you imagine doing anything 5,000 times over the course of 14 years? 

The weirdest part of these 5000 posts is that I've become more prolific and consistent in my 20s than I ever was in my teens, and I've essentially done 2000 posts just in the past 5 or so years. Which is also pretty crazy. A lot of people have trailed off consistency as they've gotten older as far as blogging's concerned, and I'm still at the point where I have the drive and persistence to keep at it, and I'm thankful for that.

So every time I do a thousandth milestone post, I like to have fun with madcap predictions and pay tribute to a very fun old Conan O'Brien bit, and look into the future.

"The future, Jordan?"

That's right, as is typical around here, let's take a peek at what the sports, sports collecting and blogging world might look like...IN THE POST 6000.

In the Post 6000... Rob Manfred will still be commissioner of baseball, Angel Hernandez will still be a working MLB umpire, and the average length of an MLB game will be 2 hours and 15 minutes. Despite that, Manfred secretly wants the games to become even shorter in order to get that lucrative TikTok tie-in.

In the Post 6000... You will be able to buy Topps licensed football cards in stores yet again. Meanwhile, Panini will still be in production on 10 more 2022 NBA/NFL card products.

In the Post 6000... There will be an open spot on a sports broadcasting panel, and Shaquille O'Neal and Michael Strahan will wrestle to the death for it.

In the Post 6000... Steve Cohen, despite signing even more free agents prior to the season, is unable to afford his greatest conquest yet: concourse seating at Yankee Stadium.

In the Post 6000... The Tampa Bay Rays will finally replace Tropicana Field. Unfortunately, for some reason Jeffrey Springs, Colin Poche, Ryan Thompson, Jalen Beeks and Jason Adam are hesitant to want to pitch at the new Bud Light Stadium. [and I bet by the Post 6000th that topical reference will be lost on a lot of people].

In the Post 6000... MLBTV blackouts are finally lifted once a crazed man angrily storms the MLB offices in North Jersey after only being able to access Athletics, Nationals and Reds games for about a month.

In the Post 6000... Topps finally gains a competitor in the baseball card market: Sppot, a company that produces all the products that Topps cut during the 2023 season, and somehow has even longer shipping delays for them.

In the Post 6000... Aaron Rodgers does a Wrangler ad, sexts a reporter and thinks about getting involved in a money laundering scheme. Meanwhile, Jordan Love is backing up somebody in Houston.

In the Post 6000... The MLB playoffs has expanded to 18 teams, lasts til December and culminates in a World Series between the third place Texas Rangers and the fourth place Miami Marlins. Ratings are an all-time low. Undeterred, Manfred keeps futzing.

In the Post 6000... Rich Hill is 5-4 with the Rockies. 

In the Post 6000... Topps finally produces a new card of Madison Bumgarner, after ending his career with a scorching 4.50 ERA with the Reds. Unfortunately, it's still with the Diamondbacks. Collectors everywhere groan.

In the Post 6000... Dayf writes a post with predominantly lowercase letters, bloggers everywhere wonder if everything is alright.

In the Post 6000... Angel Hernandez is beaten to a pulp by a robo-ump in a bar fight. Despite not being able to see when the robo-ump was punching at him, Hernandez defiantly calls the machine a racist.

In the Post 6000... The Yankees FINALLY beat the Astros in the ALCS. At which point, the season is cut short due to Jose Altuve spreading a norovirus to keep Yankee fans from ever enjoying themselves again.

In the Post 6000... I am hopefully still writing this blog, and you all hopefully still enjoy it. Maybe cards are a little cheaper, maybe I'm working a nice job, maybe we're all happier. We can dream, right?