Why I won't miss Russell Martin

Here we go, the top 10 reasons I won't miss Russell Martin. I know the list idea is tired, but so am I.

#10- He's Canadian.
#9- I didn't miss AJ Burnett when he eloped to Pittsburgh.
#8- His consistency led to Jesus Montero being traded. Yes, I'm still bitter.
#7- He only hit home runs whenever I was watching a game.
#6- He's Canadian.
#5-In two years in the Bronx he erased everything that made him great for five years with LA.
#4- Because somebody with his same first name became the most hated man on TV a few years ago.
#3- Now all we've got is Cervelli, a professional backup, and Austin Romine, who's young.
#2- Did I mention he's Canadian?
And the number one reason why I won't miss Russell Martin is...
For someone who was replacing one of the greatest Yankee catchers in recent history, he could have done a much better job.

PLAY ME OFF, PAUL!

UPDATE: I apologize to all Canadians. Everywhere. You guys are awesome. I just know an easy target when I see one. Still...please don't take any of that to offense. 

In which Broxton pulls the wool from Cincinnati's eyes

 

The man you see above is the hardest throwing pitcher in baseball. On a good day, he'll leave you with 105 miles per hour. He baffles batters in the ninth every time, and he's efficient. 

The question I've asked is how come Chapman can't pitch as a starter? And the answer I usually get is "because his arm is great with one or two innings, but for 6 or 7, it'll be hard to keep the fastball consistent enough." And that's sad, really. Chapman could be one of the game's great pitchers, but because he isn't a trusted starter, he can't really be a star.

Today, the Reds signed someone to do Aroldis Chapman's old job. So either he's getting a promotion or he's getting cut. 

Jonathan Broxton was one of 2012's two terrible Jonathans. His season was plagued with blown saves, injuries, and a team that couldn't back him up. Could he regain his mojo in Cincinnati? Maybe.  But the safe thing is that the Reds now have a reliable closer.

The only problem is how to deal with the other reliable closers.

Naturally, they led Ryan Madson out the door, but the rumors are saying the Reds want Chapman to start games. And that would definitely be a good idea, though maybe not the best for his longevity as a pitcher. If Chapman becomes a starter, more people will pay attention to him, and he'll rack up some big numbers for the usually-fickle NL Cy Young race. 

But this might not happen. The Reds could just make him a middle-reliever, taking the easy (and cruel) way out. But Cincy fans might not let that happen, because they love him down there. And if they see him pitching for just one inning, and not even a crucial one like the ninth, they'll get mad. 

I don't wanna sway the decision, wherever it goes, but I'd like it if Aroldis Chapman started next year. If not, then I hope he's traded to a team that WILL start him, or use him at all. 

You know what this has become? An amazing closer who was huge for a season, suddenly replaced by a huge name, and then not getting any playing time?

Hey, Aroldis. Ask Sparky Lyle if he can help you with your impending novel.

As Atlanta Grows.

Getting BJ Upton to replace Michael Bourn? That's pretty damn seamless. I think Upton will be a great fit for the Braves. As for Bourn? I hope he doesn't become a great fit for the Rays.

Do I sense a pattern here?

 

December 2006: Will Andy Sign? Yes, back to Yanks.

December 2008: Is Andy coming back? Yes.

December 2009: Is Andy coming back? Yes.

December 2010: Is Andy coming back? No, he's retired.

March 2012: Is Andy coming back? Surprisingly, yes.

December 2012: Is Andy coming back? Yes, with the Yankees.

It happens every winter. With the exception of one year, it's gone according to plan. Glad Andy's back where he belongs, and I hope he has one last great year.

NO, CHOOCH!

 

Earlier this month, I said that I'd be enraged if anybody got busted for steroids in 2013.

It's not even 2013 yet. Hell, it wasn't even a full month later. And nevertheless, I'M ENRAGED. Especially considering it's a player on one of my favorite teams, who had a great season this year.

Chooch...you know, you really had me there. That was a terrific season. I thought you actually pulled it off. And then today, everybody found out you'd taken amphetamines, which is basically steroids only using a longer word. Just what I needed. First Galvis, now Chooch. You're really killing me.

I mean, you could say it's not so bad since it technically isn't steroids. Bartolo Colon took testosterone, and he still got the MLB-version of a whipping. And HE still got re-signed! 

It's bad enough when somebody you respect gets outed as a substance abuser. It's worse when it's someone you admire. And this kills me. Not as much as A-Rod, but still deadly.

Even worse, he's not even TRYING to appeal it. He's saying "I'll face the suspension and get back to what I do best." So, I admire that he's owning up to it, but you're a member of the Phillies! You're not supposed to fail THAT easily! Even Ryan Braun had the balls to lie about his steroid use, or lack thereof, and THAT worked!

So yeah...not very happy right now. There better not be ONE MORE PERSON to get caught taking banned substances this year. Give me THREE DAYS...JUST THREE DAYS without ANYTHING. PLEASE!

Birthday Packs of Topps Gypsy Queen

I turned 17 today. Please don't make too big of a deal out of it. It's not like 40, where people shower you with false praise. I'm simply moving my way up, and slowly getting over, in private while I can.

In honor of the momentous occasion, my folks decided to throw along with the big present (good tickets to a 2013 Orioles game, because Yanks and Phils tix were a bit too outrageous) 5 packs of my 2nd favorite product of the year, besides Archives: Gypsy Queen. It's a well designed set, with a nice array of retired stars along with the current ones, and some great inserts, some of which will appear on the upcoming 100 Greatest Insert Sets of All Time countdown. It's a great set to just rip packs of, which is why I got some today.

Pack 1-
229- Ty Cobb. Got it
226- Johnny Bench. Got it.
170- Cliff Lee. Got it
49- Adrian Beltre. Got it.
119- Justin Morneau mini
Hallmark Heroes of Sandy Koufax. Might have it.

Pack 2-
200- Felix Hernandez. WOO! A card I don't have!
234- Carlton Fisk. Awesome.
254- Brooks Robinson.
269- Willie Stargell. Might have it.
35- Jon Lester GYPSY QUEEN BACK MINI
Future Stars of Derek Holland. Nice.

Pack 3-
199- Casey Kotchman. Topps: WHY ARE YOU STILL MAKING CARDS OF HIM? The ship sailed on Kotchman long ago, right around the Teixiera deal.
72- Ryan Dempster
183- Heath Bell, now on the D-Backs. Allergic to Miami
86- Jhoulys Chacin
243- Catfish Hunter mini. I'd say he was a better A than a Yankee, but suit yourself
220- Joey Votto.

 Pack 4-
112- Neil Walker, a member of the low-hitting Pirates
292- Delmon Young. You think he, Tim Beckham and Luke Hochevar go out for drinks often?
121- Scott Baker
127- Drew Pomeranz
319- Hanley Ramirez mini. Now happily sitting in LA.
Moonshots of Jose Bautista. Again...steroids.

Pack 5-
295- Doc Gooden. Very nice one, Topps
290- SANDY KOUFAX!
182- Buster Posey. Nice, the MVP in the same pack as a great pitcher
150- CC Sabathia. Scuse me. 2 great pitchers
53- Angel Pagan BLACK MINI
Moonshots of Mike "GIANCARLO" Stanton.

Well, those are the packs. Not a bad job. I still love the set, though.

I didn't mean literally...

 

Whenever there's a player that infuriates fans to the point of head-scratching-insanity, usually they wish terrible things upon them. I always hoped for Manny Ramirez to get struck by lightning, or for Kevin Youkilis to have Fenway Park implode in on him.

One time, when I was a young kid rooting for the Packers, I said aloud that "I wish Dante Culpepper would break his ankle" And while I don't think he did, his career was snapped in two anyway.

So wishing for bodily harm to come to a sports star is fine, unless it comes true.

Now you see where I'm going here.

This week, David Freese was injured in a car accident. He didn't die, and he didn't succumb to any massive injuries, but his car was totaled and a ray of sympathy went out for him. The accident puts this fan in an awkward situation; I may have said once or twice during the past two postseasons that the Cardinals would be a better team if David Freese got his by a car.

Once again, I was slain by horrible timing. For the 1,000th time. 

It's like saying "I wish Michael Jackson would just take a rest for a while". Or saying "I wish Brandon McCarthy would keep his head in check". It's terrible timing and it makes you look bad.

And yes, I do apologize for the previous two jokes. 

Back to Freese. What I said was nothing against his personality, but merely against his playing ability. He keeps having big games against teams I enjoy. It's a bit infuriating, in a Youk-esque way. I never actually wanted bodily harm to come to Freese, I just was frustrated that he was doing so well. 

So David Freese will rebound, and I'm definitely sure he'll be playing for St. Louis next year. Also, his salary allows him to get a new car. But am I still going to root against him? Probably. Unless he does something awesome that makes me regain trust in him.

But until then, it's back to wishing for his demise by way of airplane-jet-engine.

A Welcome Return

He wasn't the biggest star on the Yankees' rotation, but he was the most consistent, most healthy, and-arguably-the best. He made it look easy, and his performance in Game 1 of the ALCS was marred only by the fact that the offense couldn't back him.

Welcome back to the Yankees, Hiroki. Have an even better year than 2012.

2 Rack Packs of Topps Update

Two crappily collated rack packs of a product cannot deter me away from buying more of the product. What can I say, at least I'm consistent.

Pack 1-
249- Angel Pagan, a star this postseason.
251- Kyle McClellan
60- Edwin Jackson. Needs to pick a ninth team. Octavio Dotel ain't going anywhere.
54- Wow, we received two parts of the Granderson deal in the same pack!
104- Yasmani Grandal. Sighhh...
257- Jose Quintana
65- Derek Norris. Sadly, cannot swim through land.
55- Austin Kearns...AW, SERIOUSLY? GOLD #'D TO 2012. Nothing against gold, I just kinda hate Kearns. I have no idea why.
Golden Moments of Matt Kemp.
Blockbusters of Gary Carter. I don't think I have this one. The set-building continues.
120- Robinson Cano...SHORT PRINT! HE'S IN A SUIT!
That means the two SP gimmicks I have are of a Yankee and Bryce Harper.
...
TO EBAYYYYYYYYY!
305- David Price, your AL Cy Young award winner. He is also wrong, bitch.
316- Ryan Theriot, with an impeccable taste for Championships
73- Joel Peralta.
117- Chris Resop
134- Ramon Ramirez. Was traded for Angel Pagan. Is probably feeling sorry about now.
42- YOENIS CESPEDES Rookie Debut. I like this guy.
182- Pablo Sandoval AS
97- Shelley Duncan, engineered to be a Yankee CF, then released when they met Curtis Granderson
215- Brian Bogusevic. One of the best cards of the year.
324- Jamey Wright, who is on his tenth team. COME ON, EDWIN! YOUR COMPETITION IS THIS GUY!
253- Ryan Webb
45- Eric Chavez. Coulda been a Hall of Famer. Is a Yankee. With the exchange, it works out.
127- Josh Harrison
328- Geovany Soto. Never should have won Rookie of the Year.
99- Chris Johnson
321- David Carpenter
322- Ricky Nolasco GOLD #'D TO 2012
328- Shawn Camp
170- Jerry Hairston. On his ninth team. EDWIN, WHY ARE YOU TIED WITH THIS CLOWN?
294- Sergio Santos. The sole glimmer of hope within the Blue Jays pitching staff
118- David Freese, one of my least favorite players
110- Robinson Cano HRD
173- Jose Bautista AS. Thankfully had a lesser season than 2011 and 2010.
120- Robinson Cano AS. A CANO HOT-PACK
70- Will Middlebrooks RC. Nice.

Pack 2-
121- Johnny Damon. I don't care if this guy gets 0.1% on the Hall of Fame ballot. He was a great player to me.
105- Mat Latos.
155- Franklin Morales
56- Matt Diaz
159- Ben Sheets. Glad he finally ended his career with dignity
171- Rhiner Cruz
232- Andrelton Simmons.
270- Luis Ayala SHINY GOLD
Mike Trout 87 mini. I still love these
CODE CARD: Let's see what card I don't get:
A Yankees coin. IT IS STILL NOT A CARD. BLAH.
52- Clayton Kershaw AS
269- Drew Hutchison. Great. Doubles.
228- Aaron Cunningham
124- Brad Peacock, acquired in the Gio Gonzalez deal
64- Matt Moore. Waaaait...his MLB Debut was LAST year...that's cheating
311- Dan Uggla AS
259- Carlos Gonzalez HRD
48- Asdrubal Cabrera AS
244- Matt Downs
252- Chad Gaudin
243- Brandon Inge. Great. More doubles.
203- Fernando Rodney
92- Chone Figgins, who suddenly cannot hit
115- Jason Propane Elainei
57- Hanley Ramirez
100- Ryan Dempster
293- Shane Victorino. I don't think I have this one
304- Brandon Morrow GOLD #'D TO 2012
232- Fernando Abad
314- Eric O'Flaherty
80- Jered Weaver
200- Chris Perez
241- Curtis Granderson AS. Where was he in the Coke-Jackson party a pack ago?
268- Craig Kimbrel AS
143- Jose Veras
135- Clay Hensley

That's it. Some pretty nice packs, though I still have not landed that Harper. 

Why the Blue Jays Will Not Win it All in 2013: An Essay

I often downplay the sheer unpredictability that baseball brings, but that's because it's so prevalent that it really doesn't need up-playing. The game's unpredictability has done wonders for its popularity in so many ways. For instance, a year ago today, would you have thought that the A's, Nationals and Orioles would be playoff heavy-hitters? Didn't think so.

In baseball, and in real life, impossibility can outweigh the seemingly-definite.

Read that statement over again. It didn't make sense to me the first time I wrote it.

I'll put it in layman's terms- Something that will never happen is more likely to actually occur than something that seems obvious. I don't mean "an asteroid will hit before I have to go to my mother-in-law's". I mean "the Panthers will win a Super Bowl before the Eagles do".

That right there is why the Blue Jays won't come out on top next year. They may get pretty far, but they probably won't make it to November?

Why again? Because it's such a forgone conclusion that they'll make it. And for that they won't.

Let me explain this a little bit, before you close the IE window in frustration.

The Blue Jays right now are the most offensively stacked team in baseball. This past season was stacked enough; Edwin Encarnacion, Jose Bautista, Rajai Davis, Colby Rasmus and Brett Lawrie packed some serious offensive punch. Now, with Emilio Bonifacio, Jose Reyes, and now Melky Cabrera poised to join that lineup, imagine what damage will be done. Imagine the amount of potential that team has.

At least the potential the offense has. Once you look past the string of hitters, the light will shine through the strategically placed wool; the Blue Jays cannot pitch for crap.

Ricky Romero, a once celebrated youngster, gave an incredibly pathetic performance this year, as did the rest of the pitching staff. JA Happ did his best to help, but he clearly could not save the rest of the rotation.

That's one of the reasons why the Blue Jays will fail. Their hitters are great, but they lack the amount of pitching needed to be contenders. You can hit it all the way to the moon, but if you can't keep the other team from catching you, then what's the point?

But even if the Blue Jays make a huge pitching signing, whose name may or may not rhyme with Rack Reinke, and get tons of prospects to make the pitching even stronger than the batting, they still won't win the World Series.

It seems like a foregone conclusion, but need I remind you that this is baseball? If things went according to plan every year, the Yankees would have more rings than the phone at the Blue Jays' front office. Things are supposed to get muddied up and not happen like they're planned. Sports Illustrated predicted the Angels to win the World Series this year. The Giants ended up winning, and nobody predicted that.

If you pick the overall frontrunner to win it all, it isn't going to happen, just like the Packers won't win the Super Bowl this year, unless they get really lucky.  Somebody else needs to swoop in and surprise everybody. It can't be predicted. It just happens.

The Blue Jays can't win, because everybody is saying they will. Somebody else is gonna get real hot in June and not stop winning, so much so that they're tire out the Jays. Things will not go as planned. The Jays will fall and rise occasionally, and that's because it's baseball!

So, in summation, the Blue Jays will not win the World Series in 2013, because right now it's painstakingly obvious. They're saying "the Blue Jays will be huge next year, no doubt about it". And that's concerning.

Because they also said the Titanic would make it to New York. And look where that ended up.

Two Deserving MVPs

 

I think we all kinda saw this one coming. Miggy had an amazing season, as evidenced by his Triple Crown win. How were MVP voters gonna ignore that? I mean, Mike Trout it great and all, but Miguel Cabrera won the freaking triple crown. Siddown, Trout.

 

In other news, this one was a little more predictable, since the only real opposition was Andrew McCutchen, and he'll win one eventually. Posey had a great comeback season, and I'm really happy for him. 

That's it for awards. Now to start compiling entries for my Top 100 Insert Sets list. 

Verlander doesn't repeat; Dickey scores

 

This was the one I saw coming. RA Dickey damn well deserved his Cy Young award, despite how his team did, and despite the fact that he's a knuckler. He pitched beautifully this season, and probably won't be this good again. 

 

This one was a little less predictable. You see...everybody kinda thought Justin Verlander would take this one. I'm not saying I'm unhappy that Price won it, but Verlander was slightly more dominant. Price had an amazing season, but Verlander had a better strikeouts season. So, yes, the Price is indeed wrong, bitch.

Wait...what am I saying? I argued AGAINST strikeouts two years ago with King Felix vs. Sabathia. I should be pleased with this!

But I woulda been happy either way. Both are great pitchers.

Next up are the MVPs. If Posey and Cabrera don't win 'em, the world is flawed. 

Attack of the Canadian Floridians!

 

 You know...I just don't understand huge firesale deals. I get that teams want to get rid of a bunch of players, but most of the time, they still need a lot of them. Some of them are stupid and loony and only the stacked team benefits.

This is one of those deals. One of those infuriating, head-scratching deals.

Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle and Josh Johnson are all headed to the Blue Jays, along with John Buck and Emilio Bonifacio. I have no idea who the Marlins are getting a return, but hopefully they will supply the stretcher to rescue poor Mike Redmond. 

While this definitely aids Toronto, it also sort of aids Miami, and I'll break it down in more detail.

How it helps the Blue Jays:

• Gives them more star power to sell tickets. Especially with Reyes and Bonifacio, two fun players that work well together.
• Gives strength to the rotation. Johnson and Buehrle, while aging, are still strong arms, and will aid the rotation that desperately needs aid. And I mean that.
• Gives reinforcement to JP Arencibia, should be flame out like we all expect him to
• Builds a stronger infield, and helps the team grow a little bit.
• Ensures that Boston will end up in last (I really hope I don't end up calling this irony next year)
• Adds Reyes to a lineup of Encarnacion, Bautista, Rasmus and Lawrie. Ouch.

How it helps the Marlins:

• Rids them of some pesky contracts. Reyes especially.
• Replaces a bunch of aging players with youthful ones (hopefully)
• Puts more of a spotlight on Giancarlo Stanton, one of the best players in baseball.
• Ensures Philadelphia will not end up in last (I really hope I don't end up calling this irony also)

 So yeah, it could work either way. It's still a huge deal, it's still a bold move for both teams, and it's still very scary for fans of AL East teams.

1,000 Posts

It took me 4 years to get to here, but I've made it. I've hit the 1,000th post ever blogged, and I feel great about it. I realize that most big time bloggers hit their thousandth years ago, but I got there slowly, surely, and inconsistently. During these 1,000 posts, my team one a World Series, my other team won a Super Bowl, and I started making Custom Cards that made a nation smile

So, what do I have planned for my 1,000th post?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I'll say that I could have prepared something, but I am. I'm working on a ton of customs for Year By Year, starting in December. I'm also compiling my aforementioned list, of the Top 100 Insert Sets of All Time (any suggestions would be great.) So yeah, I didn't prepare for the actual post, but it's not like I didn't prepare entirely.

Besides, do you really want me droning on about how wondrous an occasion this is? I've written 1,000 stories. Ya think William Shakespeare told the whole town how great a writer he was when he wrote his one thousandth? No. Because he was humble, like me. I'm not saying I could write classic plays and stuff, but I'm humble about how good my work is.

But I really don't need to elaborate on why this is so great. I've written something every day for 1,000 days. Not consecutively, or there may have been two in one day, but you get the point.

Will I make it to 2,000? Probably. Will I make it to 5,000? I can't say I'm that ambitious. By the time I hit 5,000 posts, I'll probably be the last original blogger standing, as a parade of amateurs have taken over, or something like that. But it would be nice to think that far ahead.

So yeah. I wrote 1,000 posts, and I'm definitely not stopping there. Not even for infuriating baseball stories that I don't even want to write abou-

What's that?

They traded WHO to Toronto?

Well, I know what I'm doing for my 1,001st post...

Rookies: Already Efficient in Predictability

 

 You really had to admit, you could have seen these Rookie of the Year picks coming from a mile away. Even questionable ones like Harper, in the end you kinda knew he'd win. Wade Miley had an amazing season, but was anybody really gonna beat Harper? Be honest.

 

And this guy's performance this year was so amazing in many levels, that not nominating him for the award was blasphemy. Yu Darvish and Yoenis Cespedes were cute, but they didn't equal Trout's sheer awesomeness.

This was probably the easiest Rookie of the Year race since 2001, and we know where both Ichiro and Pujols have gone since. Does this mean Trout and Harper could be potential Hall of Famers? We'll see.

Also, I don't ask for much, but HELP ME OUT HERE, OKAY?

Wanted: Ideas for the Next Great Card-Related List

The last thing I want to do is to be left out.

November is probably one of my least consistent months in terms of posting. With no Customs and no real baseball moves, other than trades, to report about, all I have to post are packs and trades, which doesn't amount to much.

And I want something to post about, really. I don't want to sink to the bottom of people's blogrolls. I've had three years without any major hiatuses, without any major problems. I've made things as consistent as possible for as long as I've been a blogger. And if I have nothing to post about in November, I feel like I've failed.

So I thought 'what could be something big that could keep me occupied, keep me writing, and keep my status as the 15th best blogger in the 'sphere?'

And then an idea came to me.

And then I shot it down because I'm not very good at contests. Maybe next year.

And then another idea came to me. And this one was better.

What if I write a huge, several-post-spanning list, of something that has to do with baseball cards?

You see, that's what's hot right now. Some of the big guns are pulling out some Top 100 lists, and they're all racking up a lot of viewership for it. And in the past, people like Ben Henry have given us lists of the Top Baseball Card sets of the late 80's, and the early 90's.

Lists are cool. Lists are interesting. People read lists.

On the downside, they're a lot of work to put together, and you could get a lot of flak if you place something too high, or too low, or if you leave something out altogether.

The stakes are high. The risk is as well. I'm doing this solely because I want something to do. Whatever it is, it'll probably start in November and go through December, which is already packed with Year by Year, January and February, both empty months.

There's just one problem: I have no idea what to make this list about.

True, there are some ideas, but they might be too bold, or too confident. The one idea I have is "Top 100 Insert Sets of All Time", but I think I can do better than that.

So, I'm asking for your help, blogosphere. Give me some suggestions.

I'd prefer it to be a Top 100 list, but a Top 50 would certainly work if there isn't enough to nominate. My one rule is that it has to be somewhat card related. If it just has to do with baseball, or if it's something like "Top 100 biggest upsets in baseball", that's great, but for ESPN, not for a cardblog.

So...suggest away. Write something down in the comments. Make it good, and make sure it hasn't been done before. No real deadline, I'll just pick one when the comments dry up. If you give me the one I like the best, I'll use it, and I'll make sure some cardboard reward is involved.

Ideas Away!

On Grandal: Steroids have gotten truly scary

The best analogy I can think of involving steroids in baseball relates to horror movies. Really, steroid outings are like horror franchise movies. They're terrible, they're pointless, they stopped being scary awhile ago and are now just sad, they're career-scarring for everyone involved--and they just won't stop! Even after people stop caring, they keep coming out with more. And the worst part is that they tend to involve veterans of the craft that we used to care about.

To this extent, Yasmani Grandal's outing as a steroid abuser is like the latest Final Destination movie (okay, there are several others I could have used, but that one just fit the best). I can back this up, too:

• Both are terrible. I was growing some respect for Grandal, as he was a great rookie. I was gonna include him in Year By Year (which I still will), but now I'll do so because it's a big story. Also, the Final Destination movies are beyond bad. Any horror enthusiast will tell you that. I only watch them because I want to laugh at the terrible CGI and acting.
• Both are pointless. I can see a point in testing Grandal for steroids, but nobody really cares about steroid outings, at least not since A-Rod's. Maybe Melky Cabrera garnered a little suspicion, but that's because it was so obvious. The same pointlessness belongs to the Final Destination movies, because they clearly should have just stopped at one.
• Both stopped being scary awhile ago and are now just sad. Doesn't need much backing up.
• Both are career-scarring for everyone involved. Like I said, I wanted to respect Grandal, but now I feel that I can't. He's been 'marked', and now I really can't respect him like I once did. The latest Final Destination movie has respectable actors in it, like David Koechner (yes, fratboys, he played Champ Kind from Anchorman) and Tony Todd (aka the Candyman). And now I can't take either of them seriously, for choosing to be even in a supporting role in this festering pile of crap.
• Both just will not stop. After the A-Rod admission, I wanted to shove like 500 rocks up this waterfall and see if it would plug up. And every so often one or two drips would break through the rocks, and Grandal was another one. And it infuriates me, too. Also, like I said before, the Final Destination movies have no real sign of ending, except that last one seemed like the last one, thankfully.

 Do you get my point? Also, I can't stand talking about either. I really hate steroids, and I really hate when respectable players have to tell people they used it. And I really want this to stop.

In 2012 alone we had four huge steroid admissions: Freddy Galvis, Melky Cabrera, Bartolo Colon, and now Yasmani Grandal. I want 2013 to have absolutely NOBODY to come out and say "hey, I took steroids." It really makes me mad, because then I'll lose respect for them, too.

So there. I want 2013 to be an absolutely immaculate year for steroids. Nobody will get caught.

I can already see myself being incredibly wrong.

2 Badly Collated Rack-Packs of 2012 Topps Update

The more packs I rip from Topps, the more I question why exactly I'm doing so. True, the product is great, but with collation like what you're about to witness, collectors could switch to the competitor in a blink.

I love Topps Update, usually. I think the idea of players in new uniforms fascinates me, but in recent years the set has become overblown with rookies, players I've never heard of, and All-Stars that are not Matt Weiters. But I still collect, because it still has that new feeling to me.

Let's witness together some of the worst collation I've seen since...well, that pack of 2012 Archives from April.

Pack 1-
113- Scott Elbert
93- Chris Iannetta. I got this card in my first packs of Update
156- Troy Patton. As well as this one.
309- Chris Heisey. And this one.
\287- Dan Wheeler. This one too.
208- Tyler Moore. Don't think I have this one.
286- JA Happ. This one I do have.
199- Nate Schierholtz. Missed out on a ring just to play for Philly. Kinda sad.
193- Henry Blanco GOLD #'D TO 2012. Of course, since this product is peppered with gold. It's like Goldmember's wardrobe, for God's sakes.
Al Kaline Golden Moments
Blockbusters of Bruce Sutter going to the Cardinals. Why does everyone hate this insert idea? I think it's great. Matter of fact, if you don't like them, then send them to me and I'll complete the set, so you don't have to.
131- Mitchell Boggs. Finally, someone I don't have...that's good.
116- Chris Denorfia
40- Jose Bautista HRD.
145- Joey Devine
44- Jeremy Hermida. My gosh, he's still playing?
284- RA Dickey AS. Very nice.
279- Ryan Cook AS
186- Jason Hammel
191- Bobby Abreu. Most likely retiring after this season. If not, he will soon. Great player, but no Hall of Famer.
108- Kameron Loe
278- ANDY PETTITE! FINALLY A GOOD CARD!
140- Brian Duensing
63- Gerald Laird
297- Hunter Pence. Have a few copies already
109- Starling Marte. Same thing
229-  Quintin Berry. GRRRRRRRRRDOUBLES
271- John Jaso GOLD #'D TO 2012
250- Cristhian Martinez. Apparently the person who named him had a hairlip
7- Joe Mauer AS. Very nice.
175- Tim Byrdak
306- Joe Wieland RC
326- Gio Gonzalez AS. Might have this one
308- Jay Bruce AS
283- Elvis Andrus AS
209- Yasmani Grandal Rookie Debut, which is a pretty nice one.

Pack 2 (and here, folks, is where it gets ugly)-
244- Matt Downs
252- Chad Gaudin
243- Brandon Inge (good so far...)
203- Fernando Rodney, one of the best closers in the AL.
92- Chone Figgins. Cannot hit for crap.
199- Nate Schierholtz. Here come the doubles
57- Hanley Ramirez. Have it.
100- Ryan Dempster. Have it.
253- Ryan Webb SHINY CARD
1987 mini of Ian Kennedy. I love these, too. Any unwanted minis should also be sent my way, I guess. But the Blockbusters first and foremost.
John Smoltz Golden Greats. Topps did not do very well with inserts, but at least did well with insert checklists. Smoltzie is a good choice for a greats set.
Code Card. Do I even bleeping bother?
Willie Stargell coin. Good, but IT'S NOT A FREAKING CARD!
314- Eric O'Flaherty. Good, cards I don't have.
52- Clayton Kershaw AS
241- Curtis Granderson AS. Very nice.
268- Craig Kimbrel AS
143- Jose Veras
135- Clay Hensley
and now...here comes the double hurricane
63- Gerald Laird
113- Scott Elbert
93- Chris Iannetta
156- Troy Patton
309- Chris Heisey
287- Dan Wheeler
229- Quintin Berry
208- Tyler Moore
286- JA Happ
(that was brutal)
321- Jason Bourgeois GOLD #'D TO 2012. Well, there's always that
116- Chris Denorfia (d'oh!)
323- Fernando Abad. There's ONE CARD I don't have! ONE CARD!
145- Joey Devine
44- Jeremy Hermida
284- RA Dickey
279- Ryan Cook
(grrr...although at least we end the pack with 2 non-doubles):
80- Jered Weaver AS
200- Chris Perez AS. Not even his happy beard can brighten these packs.

So there. If anybody needs any of the doubles already listed, or if you want to give up any Blockbusters of 87 minis, shoot me an email. Very mad at Topps right now, though this madness will probably last until I open another pack of their stuff, and pull something awesome.

BOOM.

 

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to never-neverland.

Sorry about that. Rafael Soriano was just keeping your throne warm. 

Back to business, Mo. Back to being the Greatest Closer of All Time for one more season.

Angels: What are you doing?!?!?

 

I mean, of all teams to be randomly auctioning off players, I never would have expected one who actually needed some of them.

The Angels in 2012 had an incredibly strong rotation, of Weaver, Haren, Wilson, Greinke and Santana. Now 3/5ths of it are still standing, and you never know where Greinke's going. Santana is aiming for a renaissance in Kansas City, while Haren has been sent to No Man's Land (the North Side of Chicago). And why? Because Anaheim feels they need to build a stronger team...by selling the parts that made it strong in the first place.

It doesn't make sense. The pitching staff made the Angels good as of late, and now they're trading them away. That's backwards to me, and it's a bit ridiculous. And Haren was having a decent season too. 

And the pitching staff isn't the only area being messed with. I hear that they're in talks to trade Torii Hunter to the Yankees (probably for some prospects that will indeed bite us in the ass 3 years later).

First of all, no we do not need Torii Hunter, at least not at this age. Second of all, WHY ARE YOU GIVING ALL OF THESE PEOPLE UP? 

It's not like they all failed miserably for you. They helped your team do as well as they could. Your plan should not be to trade everybody that WASN'T Mike Trout or Albert Pujols or Jered Weaver. Trade the people that weren't doing their jobs last season. Which means the decision to trade Ervin Santana was a bit more understood than the one to give the Cubs somebody who pitched well this season.

Also, I really don't want Torii Hunter. He is indeed a fun player, but he might be too old to perform for us. We do need a bat, but one a bit younger.

So, to sum up: The Angels cannot just trade everybody away that wasn't superior, and that won't help them in the future because they were simply okay this season. Because pretty soon, the season will come, and a picked-dry Angels team will not do well against rejuvenated Rangers and A's squads.

That's it from me for tonight. If they send Torii Hunter to the Bronx, however, you're getting another rant, and you're gonna like it.

UPDATE: Well, at least they listened to me and curtailed the Haren trade, though he's still a free agent. Okay, that's fine. But don't let the Yankees get Torii Hunter.