You just can't write this stuff

The last three postseason games played by the Tigers have began with some form of a no-hitter, likely spoiled by the bullpen. Of course, tonight was the only night of the three to be broken up by David Effing Ortiz.

Part of me is actually rooting for the Red Sox in all of this, due to fear of a Cardinals-Tigers series. Also, if the Cardinals do end up beating the Dodgers, which I hope to whoever's listening doesn't happen, then I'll probably just root for the Red Sox, because they have a better story than the Cardinals.

On the bright side for everyone else, imagine if this ended up being a Cardinals-Yankees series? Who would watch?