January 2013, Manager's office, Boston Red Sox Facility.
(Bobby Valentine is tied to a table for his awful 2012 season. He looks unconscious. Suddenly, Frau Blucher enters, silently, and begins to undo the barriers on the table. Suddenly, Frankenstein, Igor and Inga enter.)
Fronkensteen: Nevermind that, I was just going to...*FRAU BLUCHER!*
(neigh)
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Blucher: I AM GOING TO SET HIM FREE!
Inga: NO...No, you mustn't!
(The three run downstairs.)
Fronkensteen: Are you INSANE? He'll sink the team again!
Blucher: NO HE WON'T! Not this vun. HE IS AS GENTLE AS A LAMB!
Bobby Valentine (abruptly): TRADE DAISUKE TO CLEVELAND!
(All four are startled.)
Fronkensteen: STAND BACK! Stand back, for the love of God, he's an terrible manager. A TERRIBLE MANAGER I TELL YOU! HE'S GONNA TRADE ELLIBSURY FOR A MOUNTAIN GOAT!
VALENTINE: HEY, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!
Igor: ...ixnay on the errible-tay
Blucher: I'm not avvraid! I know vat he likes!
(Frau Blucher begins playing the violin, which calms Valentine before he makes the call to the gm, and he sits back down)
Fronkensteen (putting it all together): That music...
Blucher: YES! It's in his blood! It's in the blood of ALL Boston managers! Man, you should have seen Francona!
Fronkensteen: Then it was you all the time!
Blucher: YES!
Fronkensteen: You got Francona to leave at the end of last year!
Blucher: YES!
Fronkensteen: TO GET US INTO LAST PLACE!
Blucher: YES!
Fronkensteen: That was YOU who left Carl Crawford SMOLDERING in the ASHTRAY!
Blucher: YYYES!
Fronkensteen: And it was you...who left Bobby Valentine's number out for me to find!
Blucher: YEES!
Fronkensteen: SO THAT I WOULD-
Blucher: YES!
Fronkensteen: AND YOU AND BOBBY VALENTINE WERE-
Blucher: YES! YYES! YES! YES! SAY IT! I VAS...HIS AGENT!
(Suddenly Bobby Valentine hits an electrical circuit, and immediately trades for Joel Hanharan. He then yells and begins to bolt out of the room.)
Fronkensteen: Gone! Gone! We've got to find him, you understand? We've got to find him before he trades another crucial piece of the team! What have I done? Oh God in Heaven! What have I done?
Igor (on the phone): Hello? Yes, is John Farrell there?
FIN
And THAT is how the Red Sox won the World Series...I think.
Oh well. Have a happy Halloween, everybody.
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