The Houston Astros do not need starting pitching help. They do not. You have like 80 starters. Cut that shit out.
I mean, if you want to be crass, if you want to be pedantic, you could go 'well actually they're still without Justin Verlander for a little longer and they only have three or four guys officially tied down'-okay listen. Your fifth man is Jake Bloss. Jake Bloss is not only an organizational stud who smoked through the minors in a year, he's also a proven heavyweight with an 0.00 ERA in one appearance in Triple-A. That he currently has a 7 ERA is mainly due to the fact that he's a 23-year-old facing the best of the best. Spencer Arrighetti got lit up his first few starts, he mellowed out, he's doing a lot better now. Perhaps that'll happen to Bloss, who's fundamentally a better pitcher than Arrighetti. Considering that eventually people like Javier, McCullers, Urquidy, France and Garcia will come back, perhaps it's better to just let him get MLB experience this year and gear him up to potentially deal him for a big piece in the offseason. Or maybe keep him considering that some guys are gone next year anyway.
But apparently the Astros are on the hunt for starters. They've checked in about Jack Flaherty, they've checked in about Yusei Kikuchi, they do not...need to. You have ELEVEN STARTERS on the roster. ELEVEN OF THEM. YOU DO NOT NEED TWELVE. You are fine. You need to wait for people to get healthy, conserve what you do have, and if somebody does get hurt, nobody will fault you if you do a bullpen game. There is NO POINT in getting another starter just for the sake of having five strong options. The Diamondbacks made it to a World Series last year with only three starters they actually liked, and that was enough. The Astros have five starters. They will likely get Verlander back soon. That does not warrant the need for Jack Flaherty. If they do it at this point, it's solely because they want to annoy everyone in the general vicinity, including and especially me.
This is the last contracted season in Houston for Alex Bregman, and can I just say it's about damned time. No one has summed up this era of Astros infuriation quite like Bregman, in that he showed up right as the team got good, legged it out for the whole era and never once did anything remotely likable. His rookie season he was already arguing with fans on Twitter and calling them names. That was his best foot forward. Now it's not always an indication of character, Bryce Harper started at 'that's a clown question' and blossomed into a saint among men. Bregman doubled down. Like Altuve, he's never been completely terrible at the plate. Never 2010s levels, but always good enough to still be in the conversation, like a gnat. Anyway, he's hitting .257 with 50 RBIs and 13 homers. I'd really like for him to play somewhere else next year but we all know the Astros are gonna roll out some 'retire as an Astro' contract just to make it more about themselves.
The Astros, who are 5 games over .500, are 1st in the AL West solely because their opponents are a Mariners team with no hitting and a Rangers team where most of the pitching is injured. I genuinely feel like if those two variables were different the Astros wouldn't be in first. They've gotten so lucky, and they've been given so many damn clean breaks by the MLB. If they make another ALCS despite every other great story that's elapsed this year, I'll go mental.
Coming Tonight: A happier post, hopefully. Well, it does concern an ex-Yankee, but this one I'm alright with.
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