One Does Not Simply Make a Kris Bryant Rookie Card...

There. I made a Kris Bryant custom. That's gotta please somebody, right?

I might as well take this opportunity to address something serious, because thanks to college I haven't had a shit ton of time to actually address card industry issues.

So I'm going to. And it involves Kris Bryant.

In 2010, when Stephen Strasburg made his debut, Topps engineered a wild goose chase of trying to get his rookie card, culminating in "breaking their own transmogrifyer" (tm dayf), and adding a 661st cart to the base set (you know, before they had to leave #7 empty).

In 2012, when Bryce Harper made his debut, Topps made just as big a deal about him, ultra SPing all of his rookie cards, and giving the same #661 treatment they gave to Strasburg. And then promptly made SP'd rookie cards of Harper in LITERALLY EVERY OTHER PRODUCT THEY RELEASED THAT YEAR. EVEN ARCHIVES.

So, three years later, on the heels of the debut of ANOTHER rookie superstar, Topps prepared a full game plan that they were preparing for the day that Kris Bryant debuted, which was last friday, detailing everything they were gonna do, including adding Bryant to Series 2, gimmicking him into Bowman, and a bunch of other things that I clearly do not remember right now. They didn't say whether Bryant's series 2 release would be the tacked on #662, like Strasburg and Harper, but knowing Topps, it'll probably end up like that.

I just want to point out the BIG ROOKIE SUPERSTAR prior to Strasburg didn't get up-played as much as the next three did. His name, for any of you who remember, was Daisuke Matsuzaka. And he got a card in the 2007 base set, and that was it. In fact, there was still a card #661 in 2007 Topps, but that's because Topps couldn't simply just make an ordinary card of the guy that was about to break Hank Aaron's record.

Now, the BIG ROOKIE SUPERSTAR before that? Yeah, his rookie was gimmicked so hard that people couldn't complete the 2006 base set. (For anyone who doesn't know, that was Alex Gordon, and his rookie card was SSP'd for Series 2, infuriating literally every collector in the biz). But other than that, there aren't a ton of short-printing of HUGE rookies before that. Upper Deck or Donruss would do the thing in their premium sets where they'd short-print the rookies, but that's not the same thing- Topps would put ONE rookie on such a pedestal that it'd be impossible to find their cards.

So...back to Kris Bryant.

I want to think that Topps has learned something. Thanks to the emergence of Panini, Topps has gone back to putting out quality sets, like Stadium Club, High Tek, and 2015 Topps, and Heritage. Hell, even Gypsy Queen looks pretty nice this year. So I really don't want them to immediately snap back to their old tricks with this Kris Bryant thing. He's a big rookie, yeah we know, but we want to FIND his cards, so we can hang onto them in the event that he gets good. That's how our folks did it in the past. THIS is just making it harder for everyone, and leaving the company with most of the big rookie cards, which is not how this is supposed to work.

I hope we eventually get some more details on what they're doing with Bryant in Series 2, because I'd actually like a copy of his card, without having to try too hard.

(By the way, I wanna get back to more 'issue' posts like this one. If I can, I'm gonna try to get 1 issue post and 1 'custom' post per day, possibly more than one custom, because I just made a TON last night. Hopefully you're gonna see a lot of content on the blog this month.)

Really, Topps?

You know, after five years I kinda thought the Poley Walnuts onslaught was over.

I often inquire as to why the hell Topps keeps doing this. Is it to make people open numerous packs to search for the gimmicks? Is it to drive away veteran collectors, and instead lead them to lives as Pony Enthusiasts (this is the third reference I made. I hope he gets it or I'll keep making them less subtle)? Or maybe there is no reason. Maybe they just have a board meeting, and one guy says "You know what...this tradition stuff is boring. Let's just take the collectors that have stood by our side for so many years, and just mess with them."

In any other company, that guy would be fired. At Topps, he is promoted. In the real world, he will be ridiculed.

This gimmick infuriates me the most because, as we're being led to believe, this card is actually being placed in the base set. There will be no normal Skip Schumaker card, only a card OF A FREAKING SQUIRREL. Of course, if you're a Cardinals hater (like me, thanks to an overly snooty Cardinal fan "friend"), then you might just throw the card out, even if it was a legit Schumaker. Can you imagine versions of this card being produced for factory sets, for gold variations, etc? What if Schumaker gets an All Star nod, and they make a team set? Do they put the frigging squirrel in the set, beside Jose Reyes and Ryan Howard?

Oh, it makes me MAD!

Because I have to end this blog post somehow, I'll say this: There's a possibility that this squirrel card is the only bit of poo Topps will fling at us. That after this, they'll give us a decent set and a gimmickless season.

A very slim possibility, though. About the size of an acorn, being nibbled on by that damn rally squirrel.

Update #1- Well, a lot of you have told me that this is a gimmick, and not a base card like we all thought. So for that reason I must apologize for the tone in the blogpost. I went a little over the top, because I thought Topps was done with these stupid gimmicks. 2011 was gimmick free, and I was kinda looking forward to a clean 2012. No wonder the Mayans wanted the world to end in December.

Update #2- I've also been told that there's a similar gimmick roaming around, featuring a credible player (Mike Leake) fighting with a mascot. There are apparently several of these. Of course, a mascot sharing space with a player isn't as bad as A SQURREL TAKING THEIR SPA-okay I give up.

Update #3- He hasn't gotten it yet. There goes subtlety.

A letter to Topps

Dear Topps,

I have attempted many times to write to you in the past, through my blog. Though I never have really gotten your attention, and have never actually heard back from you (wasn't there a Beverly Cleary book like this?), I figured I'd at least pretend to get your attention. Because, once again, I'm not happy with a decision you've made.

Ever since the Alex Gordon debacle in 2006 Topps, we, the proud collectors of the internet, have begged on our geeky, blogging knees for you to give us a no-frills, no-gimmicks flagship set. Also, ever since the 2011 set did exactly what the 2010 set did in terms of inserts, we've been asking for original insert ideas. In other words, we wanted every subsequent Topps design to be different than the last.

At the National, you introduced the 2012 set as a Game Changer. My question, as the hour of the set's release grows nearer and nearer, is simply this: What game did you intend to change? Because as far as my perfect vision can see, I see only subtle differences between the 2012 flagship and the 2011 flagship, and even the flagship before that.

The inserts still echo the tired Peak Performance, Legendary Lineage and Reprints types of repitition. There are still inserts commemerating the player's achievements, putting two players together, and just looking cool, and not distinguishing themselves from last year's. And the gimmicks we have so desperately asked you to get rid of? You've managed to take what would be a simple update set addition for two great players, and turn it into a short printed bonanza that won't give great players like Albert Pujols and Jose Reyes a proper base card in their new uniform. It's infuriating.

And believe me, I am not the only one who is pissed at you. I am simply the messenger. Bloggers such as BDJ610, and Chris Harris have spoken against the new gimmicks and inserts. The latter has even threatened a second Topps boycott. And that's what a lot of traditional collectors might do- just give up collecting the flagship set if it's gonna contain the usual shenanigans.

In closing, I will say this: If you really want 2012 Topps to be a game changer, you should have listened to the collectors, and taken the criticism to make a better set altogether. This changes no game. It simply slides another space nearer to Jail. And I don't think you'll be holding a Get out of Jail Free card this time.

Hoping there's something awesome planned for later in the year/2013,

Jordan
the Mint Condition kid.

P.S.- Notice how I didn't ask to bring back Topps Total. Maybe that's cause IT WAS IMPLIED!

Why I love/hate Stephen Strasburg

Here's why I love him:

I sat down last night on MLBnet, to see what the hype was about. I got the young fireballer fanning 13 of the Pirates, and doing it with a blazing 98-mph fastball.

Wow, I said to myself. I really like this guy. And you know who pitched against him in his first game...

A former Yankee. Jeff Karstens. doo-doo-doo-doo....

Now here's where I begin to despise Mr. Nolan Ryan Jr. This morning, while checking the blogs, I happen upon two blogs (They know who they are) who show what I had been fearing.

That Transmogrifier Starsburg that was auctioned off last night? It's now Card #661. And you can only get it online.

GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

I mean, why on Earth would Topps just randomly put out another gimmick? It's just...uh...words cannot describe the anger I am feeling right now. Couldn't we just wait for Card #UH1 in Updates (Or Series III). I mean...it just doesn't make sense at all.

I still want it, though.

The gimmick that ate Chicago

By now, I'm sure you've all heard of Topps' idea of a joke, the Abe Lincoln gimmick. They've inserted Abe into all the Cubs cards, somehow making it silly.

Why couldn't they just stop at the pies? You're already ripping the Yankees, and now you turn toward ChiCAGo? Plus, it's really friggin ridiculous. I mean, they've already made quite a few Abe cards already in Allen and Ginter, 2007 Turkey Red, various other products.

HOW DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS CRAP? Is there a Bad Idea Pottery Barn or something, is that where they all meet?

These gimmicks are getting ridiculous Topps. TAKE THE INDEPENDENCE SERIOUSLY!

HOLY SHEETS!!!

Oakland has a new starter, which means they don't have to count their #1 as Justin Duchduchduchduchduchduchducherer.

Ben Sheets is going to Raiderville, home of the A's.

Not that it matters.

By the way- THERE ARE TOO MANY GIMMICKS IN 2010 TOPPS! The Legends I can deal with but the pies AND the Grandy? The Yankees are now fighting back (I hope)

Now I'm Angry

For two reasons:

1. There are still no 2010 packs at my local Target
2. Now there is an actual gimmick coming around of Mark Teixiera getting pied.

Why?

Oh, dear...

GIMMICKS!!!!!

Over at Stale Gum, Chris presented the Carlton Fisk gimmick, one I am split on. Let me give you the situation (Cue dancing Jersey Shore idiot)

• It's an unannounced card of a retired player
• It's replacing a card of a current player with the same nickname
• It's a unnecessary short print
• It's Carlton Fisk. Shut up.

If Topps is doing another SP set this year, I'll be fine with it. I had a grand time finding the last few (I have the Cobb and the Frank Robinson from UH), so it'll be cool.

UPDATE: I have been alerted that since this post, there have been a few other sightings, like a Robin Yount and a Roger Maris. Still, I NEED to get my hands on this product. It's sort of like going Cold Turkey (Which I have never done, unless you count Brownies and Tic Tacs)

You try and go without it for so long, and you know you can't have it, but you need to. The temptation is all over the place. I have seen all of the bloggers presenting their newly ripped '10 packs, and I have to restrain myself until the only clear spot in my week- the weekend. I can't get any tonight, and I'll TRY and get some tomorrow, with no luck. Either way, I will give you some 2010 Topps THIS WEEK, whether the bloggers can take my boring, pictureless pack breaks or not. And yes, I will include some photos this time, just to show you guys.

This has been a public service announcement from the Custom Card Meister, Jordan. Remember: Do Cards, Not Drugs.

The White Sox...like the Venus Fly trap...

Will grab anything and anyone in sight. Like ANDRUWJOOONES and Omar Vizquel from the Rangers.

Also, that's not the only reason I'm a little mad today. This is:

Just un-freaking-believable. THANKS A LOT, TOPPS!

On this day in history

April 1, 2008

This was the day that this guy

Was the reason that everyone yelled at their computers.

Thanks a lot Topps!

MORE HERITAGE GIMMICKS!!!

Thom Glavine

Hanley Ramirez

John Smoltz

Fred Lewis

You can now add Conor Jackson and Randy Winn to the list of unnannounced gimmicks. And neither of them are necessary.

In other news, Pudge Rodriguez has yet to be signed.

AAAAAH! GIMMICKS!

Topps Heritage is out... and so are a couple of @&&#%##$%*(** Gimmicks

Let's start with the Thom Glavine card. This is almost exactly like the Ex Rod scam Upper Deck pulled a few years ago. Just a few letters off, and that's all that's wrong with the card. This is pretty ridiculous. Why couldn't they just draw a mustache on Mister Glavine. One thing's for sure- Dayf would get mad anyway.

We also have the Hanley Ramirez as a Boston baby card. It's hard to believe that this guy started playing for the Sox. I don't know which is more painful for a Yankee fan, the gimmick or the truth.

Either way, Topps, this is getting waaaaay out of hand.