Your 2017 MLB All Star Game Starting Lineups

I do this every year. Y'all should be used to it by now. Or, like, scared. Either way, I do customs of both starting tens, and do them in a grand way.

Picture the moment in Marlins Stadium. 20 people are in the crowd, because, after all, it's Marlins Stadium. And the announcer goes...NOW, FOR YOUR 2017 ALL STAR STARTING LINEUPS.

(Moderate applause)

FIRST, THE AMERICAN LEAGUE ALL STARS!

Leading off for the AL, the second baseman, from the Houston Astros...JOSE ALTUVE!

Batting second, and starting at third base, from the Defending AL Champion Cleveland Indians...JOSE RAMIREZ!

Batting third, the right fielder, from the New York Yankees...AARON...JUDGE!

(The inexplicable amount of Yankees fans in Miami go apeshit)

Cleaning Up for the AL, the left fielder, from the Houston Astros...GEORGE SPRINGER!

Batting fifth, and starting at shortstop, from the Houston Astros...CARLOS CORREA!

Sixth in the lineup tonight, the first baseman, from the Toronto Blue Jays...JUSTIN SMOAK!

Batting seventh, the Designated Hitter, from the Tampa Bay Rays...COREY DICKERSON!

In the 8 spot, starting behind the plate tonight, from the Kansas City Royals...SALVADOR PEREZ!

Batting ninth, and playing center field tonight, from the Boston Red Sox...MOOKIE BETTS!

And warming up in the bullpen, your AL starter for the night, from the Boston Red Sox...CHRIS SALE!

Now...for YOUR NATIONAL LEAGUE STARTERS!

Leading off for the NL, starting in center field, from the Colorado Rockies...CHARLIE BLACKMON!

Second in the lineup, playing Designated Hitter...FROM YOUR MIAMI MARLINS...GIANCARLO...STANTON!

(The crowd goes absolutely ballistic)

Batting third, the Left Fielder, from the Washington Nationals...BRYCE HARPER!

Batting cleanup for the NL, and catching tonight, from the San Francisco Giants....BUSTER POSEY!

In the 5 spot for the NL, the second baseman, from the Washington Nationals...DANIEL MURPHY!

Sixth in the order tonight, the third baseman, from the Colorado Rockies...NOLAN ARENADO!

Batting seventh, and playing first base tonight, from the Washington Nationals...RYAN ZIMMERMAN!

In the 8 spot tonight, and playing left field...from YOUR MIAMI MARLINS...MARCELL...OZUNA!

Batting ninth, at shortstop, from the Cincinnati Reds...ZACK COZART!

And in the bullpen, your starting pitcher for the NL, from the Washington Nationals, the REIGNING CY YOUNG CHAMPION...MAX SCHERZER!

Those are your startling lineups! Enjoy the game!