The Stars Are Out: April 2023

 

With the close of the first month of the 2023 season means it's time for the first check in of customs of famous people throwing out the first pitch at MLB games. There was a wide variety over the course of this month alone, so I figured I'd post a bunch now rather than waiting for the end of May.

I actually didn't do too many ex-MLBer customs this year, because even if there were some fun deep cuts, I worried they'd be too recent, even for me, from when they retired. Like Sergio Romo threw one out the other day, and he retired A MONTH AGO.

So Fred McGriff is a nice exchange, he's been retired for roughly 20 years now, and he just now gained entry into the Baseball Hall of Fame, and deservingly so. I'm glad the Blue Jays were able to recognize him at the beginning of the year, as his Jays days were some truly dominant years for McGriff, even if he'd be a bit more successful playoff-wise in Atlanta.

These April customs do cross over to other sports, especially football. Nick Sirianni brought the Eagles to the Super Bowl in only his second year as head coach, and already the fans have rallied around him in a way somehow a bit more endearing than their [fleeting] admiration for Doug Pederson. Sirianni got a warm welcome at Citizens Bank Park for his first pitch.

Meanwhile, Travis Kelce, the Chiefs' Super Bowl hero, decided to throw out his first pitch not in Kansas City, as one might think, but in Cleveland, owing to his own Ohio roots. I'm glad he got his hometown hero moment there, as the entire Kelce family has had a very nice year so far. Unfortunately, I don't recall the pitch being particularly accurate..

Similarly, after going from a walk-on to a Championship QB, Georgia senior Stetson Bennett got a hero's welcome at Truist Park to throw out his first pitch. A close relative actually worked with Bennett last year, he's the real deal and a great guy. I hope he finds success with the Rams, however eventual that may be.

...so Meg Thee Stallion threw out a first pitch in Houston. She's, uh, pretty open about her Houston roots, a lot like fellow rapper Travis Scott, and since she's huge as hell on the pop charts right now, the Astros invited her down. I'm not quite sure if her mega-stardom is gonna last, so she at least got to do this while the Astros were still defending champs.

On the other side of the music spectrum, Luther Campbell, lead singer of the controversial late-80s rap group 2 Live Crew, is still around, and got to throw out a first pitch in Miami, which is pretty cool. The Marlins don't show up a lot in these posts, and when they do they get some interesting picks.

Now, for one of the least subtle images I've ever had to use for this one. Bert Kreischer's gotten absolutely huge as a stand-up in the past few years, and he's got his own movie coming out next month. It doesn't shock me, knowing his onstage persona, that he threw out his Guardians first pitch sans shirt. It'd be weird if he did it otherwise.

Theo Von, who I remembered from Last Comic Standing back in the day, is just beginning to reach some of the stardom that Kreischer's swimming in right now. Von is doing a lot of podcasting and comedy networking, and I think he's made something of a name for himself in his third decade of stand-up. Glad the D-Backs could have him throw one out.

Sentimental favorite for last. Aisha Tyler came up hosting Talk Soup for a bit, then had roles on Friends and Criminal Minds, became a fan favorite for voicing Lana on Archer, and has hosted Whose Line is it Anyway on the CW for the last 10 years. Yes, it is still a show, and she's been an awesome and loose host. She's also like the second Giants fan to be a Whose Line performer, though her throwing one out at Oracle Park was a lot more likely than Greg Proops doing it, sad to say. Aisha's awesome, she had a lot of fun photos for me to choose from, and it's cool that she's a Giants fan.

Hopefully there'll be more fun ones of these coming in May.

NFL Championship Games: ZZZZZZZZ Edition

 Bucs-Packers:

Prediction: Hard-fought game, but the Packers are the better team and on their own turf, so they should stick it out.

Reality: WHAT DOES IT TAKE? WHAT DOES IT FRIGGING TAKE FOR THIS TEAM TO WIN AN NFC CHAMPIONSHIP? We've tried playing teams that aren't as good as ours, we've tried playing teams with no offense, we've tried playing teams with the homefield advantage for once. Nothing works. Regardless of how good this Packers team was, the Bucs' defense was better, and made for a truly disappointing end to the season. Now Tom Brady goes to another super bowl, and the Packers, who deserved to, don't.

Bills- Chiefs

Prediction: I'd LIKE the Bills to win but the Chiefs are the better team, especially with Mahomes back

Reality: Yeeeahhh, this one wasn't even close, was it? As good as Josh Allen was, Patrick Mahomes was better, and had some explosive TD plays all night. Yes, Eric Fisher won't be heading to Tampa in 2 weeks, but Tyreek Hill, Travis Kelce and the whole gang were on fire tonight, and dwarfed a Super Bowl-caliber Bills team. 

So now we're looking at a Bucs-Chiefs Super Bowl. Brady vs. Mahomes. How absolutely boring. This is the kind of outcome that people predicted early in the season that I shrugged off because it couldn't be that cut and dry. But, sure enough, the Chiefs repeat as AFC Champs, and Brady and the Bucs sniveled their way to another Bowl themselves. I guess I'm rooting for the Chiefs again? I dunno, it's a conflictingly bland matchup, and I'm glad I can just watch it as yet another Super Bowl I don't have a vested interest in than to actually have a horse in it. 

Whatever. It's a Super Bowl at home, but this isn't really the genuine Tampa Bay Buccaneers, is it? It's a team that Tom Brady has hijacked in an effort to win a seventh ring that he doesn't need. The only excited Bucs fans that are gonna be there in 2 weeks will be bandwagoners.  And yes, maybe a few diehard fans, but this isn't really a homegrown, earned team like the 2003 one was, is it? 

Whatever. We're nearly back at baseball season. You'll hear less of my grumblings over time.