Custom Card of the Day: Severely Unfortunate Timing Edition

To quote the sheriff from Blazing Saddles, "aw, prairieshit".

I made this custom yesterday, midday, when the Orioles were so far out in front that I kind of HAD to make a custom of one of their stars, and Crush fit. And I planned on posting it very soon.

Well, leave it to Crush Davis to make me regret it.

I mean, usually people wait until AFTER I've posted a custom of them to do crazy stuff (be thankful I didn't have an Adrian Peterson custom made). But Davis was nice enough to get caught for using Adderall RIGHT when I was going to try to make good with all the Orioles fans I frustrated last week.

If it makes you feel any better, O Nation, it looks like you guys are gonna win the division Crush or no Crush. And I doubt that it'll make too much of a difference. I mean, in Oakland, you take away Yoenis Cespedes and the whole team falls apart. In Baltimore, you take away Davis in a comparatively down season, it's not like that. It's not like taking away the magic hat. You guys still have Jones, Markakis, Young, Schoop, Hardy, and tons of other really nice hitters.

Besides, we're going into a postseason with potentially no Phillies or Yankees. Which means I'll probably be rooting FOR the Orioles. You read that right. NOT AGAINST. FOR. I actually enjoy watching Orioles games. I've been to a few. They're awesome. I only thought otherwise because I forgot to check how many games out of first my team was, mistakenly thought "four", and typed away.

So yeah. I hope that clears a few things up. As for me, I'll be making a custom of an Oriole that won't get busted for drug use.

Coming Today (?)- One more guy who definitely won't be making the playoffs, and he's a rookie for a Cubs team full of 'em.

How to admit you screwed up without coming off as desperate

So, for those of you who recall, I had a very...I dunno, I guess you could say 'mean-spirited' post last night, about the Orioles. I already deleted it, because I went back and read it this morning and for the first time in my career, I actually felt ashamed about something I had written. I'd called the team's star a wash-up, I'd said that the team was only in first by default, and I used the post as a way of saying that my team was still better.

Honestly, I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. It was 11ish, and I was only posting for the sake of posting, because I needed to get another one out because I needed to start posting more. So everything I wrote in that post was an afterthought, done for the sake of humor, not really said with any statistics in mind, and written smugly and asshole-like.

I know I lost the respect of a lot of Orioles fans, and I know that they'd rather eat a shoe than ever read my blog again, so when I say I'm sorry, please understand that it's coming from someone who means it. I'm not looking for sympathy, and I'm not trying to win you all back onto my side, because I'm not some politician who gives hush money to people he's wronged behind their backs. All I'm doing is being honest and saying that I didn't mean to defame the Orioles, and I certainly had no idea the post would have this kind of effect on people.

And for the record, I know it may not show, but I actually like the Orioles. A friend of my dad's gets cheap seats every few years, so we go to a game every once and a while. I have all the respect in the world for the Orioles, and I felt really, really bad when Machado got hurt, because he's a great player. Please understand that I'm not BSing here. I don't like to bullshit, and I don't do it often.

I promise that the next time I write about a team, I will check my facts a bit more, and I won't just write for the sake of getting one done.

And also, I apologize about all the shit I said about Earl Weaver, when he died. I basically took it as an opportunity to get back at him after all of those days of kicking my Yankees' ass, and I thought with my ass instead of my head. So last night's post was the second time I pissed off Orioles fans. Believe me when I say that I don't go out of my way to make people upset. And I certainly had no intention of that last night, which is why it killed me that people reacted this way. And before I get a lot of 'Well, what did you expect', comments, I didn't really expect anything. I expected it to get, like, 30 page views, people to read it, like the custom, and move on with their lives.

Bottom line- I don't expect complete forgiveness from the people that didn't like the post. That only happens in the movies. All I want is for you to see my side of the story, and at least have some context about it, and then base your opinion on that. You're allowed to still hate me. I don't care. I just wanted to make my point about it clear, and apologize. If that doesn't do anything for you, well that's fine with me.

Coming Tonight (?)- Well, it'd be a slap in the face if it was a Yankee, so it's probably going to be Stephen Strasburg.

Custom Card of the Day: I was Wrong Edition

If there was a running tally of how many times something I predicted happened with the opposite outcome, that thing would already have overflowed. Which is why it doesn't really shock me that my entire post from last night was deemed completely wrong not even an hour later.

For those of you who haven't read it, which is most of you, it regarded the sheer astonishment over the Astros winning the Opening match against Texas. I then said that this meant the Astros could do well, and that it might be the beginning of the end for the Rangers.

Well, there goes that prediction, right?

Not even an hour after posting this, I get the news that Yu Darvish is pitching a no-hitter into the 6th. And that's when it sorta turned for me. This meant that A.) Texas was playing well, B.) Houston was NOT playing well, and C.) I was wrong yet again.

I mean, when you look back at last night's game, the only Astros player (besides Lucas Harrell) who made a decent enough effort last night was that guy who broke up the no-hitter. And maybe the guy that hit him over to second. And also, the Rangers had a ton of hits last night. So basically, everything I said was untrue. The Astros cannot hit. The Rangers actually are great. The Rangers might actually do well.

That being said, I am pretty happy for Yu Darvish. I know the perfect game was halted by that unnamed guy (let's just call him Brendan Ryan, because he broke up the last no-hitter I was remotely interested in), but still, the guy had a tremendous game. I think he's a really good pitcher, and I think that he could end up doing really well this season, unless he gets injured or some crap like that.

As for the Rangers, I still don't think they'll make it to the postseason. However, don't quote me on it.

Coming Tomorrow- As promised yesterday, the top pitcher for the Angels.

2012- The Year in Irony

Longtime readers of this blog will probably tell you one thing about me: I get things wrong a lot.

I have been known, several times, to make wild, proud statements about things, only to be proven wrong within a matter of months. Sometimes it's subtle. Sometimes it's funny. Though I'll say that I'm wrong more times than I'm right, the times where I hit it directly on the head are scarce.

So, as we're wrapping up the year with all these lists and retrospects (and I'll do my own, like usual, on New Year's), I'd like to take you back through the year in irony, the year in statements that seemed true at the time, only for them to be wrong months later. And, for extra measure, I've included a few instances where I was really right in predicting the future.

For some reason, we're starting in November 2011.

Nov. 5th, 2011: "Jim Thome will most likely retire in Philly pinstripes." Well, he hasn't retired yet, and he's currently in Orioles garb. Which is still pretty nice.

Nov. 7th 2011: The entire freaking post, about Melky Cabrera. I know, Melky Cabrera tested positive for roids, but all of me saying "he's washed up" and '"he'll never be good again" was so totally wrong.

Nov. 11 2011: "this could be a renaissiance in Miami. People in the area could flock to Miami to see the huge stars, along with the ones they already have, swat homers and make plays. Hell, the Marlins could even be a challenge for Atlanta and Philadelphia for the throne (the Mets are kinda out of it)." My two mistakes here: thinking the Marlins would be good, and neglecting to mention the 5th team in the NL East, the one that would eventually win the damn division. Actually, there was a third- thinking Miami would hold onto most of these people.

Dec. 5 2011: "the Marlins are shaping up to be a huge, colossal force that may, just may, put the Braves in 3rd place." They ended in 2nd, three places above the Marlins. And just to prove I was right about something, "There's a chance that even Washington could kick their ass in the standings."

Dec. 8 2011: "What if Wilson ends up pulling a Kazmir and sucking his ass off for the Angels" Okay, I was kinda right on this one, but he still made an All Star team. And besides, I still said "Add Pujols into the mix, and that awesome pitching rotation, and the Rangers have absolutely no chance to clinch next year. Which is perfect for me, since I hate the Rangers." Well yeah, the Rangers didn't clinch, but neither did the Angels. Also: "The Angels are going to be good next year. What the Yankees need to do is be better than the Angels." The Yanks sure were better. Not by much, though. I'll say that I really hope the 'Angels will rule' posts this year will be ironic by next year.

Dec. 9 2011: On Trumbo, "I don't think he'll be playing first anymore." Well, he still did better than Pujols at it, but I think he's an outfielder now.

Jan. 21 2012: "Right now the A's are practically poo-poo." Give them a few months. "And if they had Manny Ramirez, then they'd be a little less sucky." Well, they never had Manny Ramirez to begin with, but they were less sucky anyway.

Jan. 27 2012: I wanna point out that I prefaced MLB Memes by about 6 months by calling this post 'Juan More Outfielder for Philly'.

March 12 2012: "Hopefully, with a better team, the Dodgers will return to October...until the Phillies win in the end." Wrong annnnnnnnnnnnd wrong.

March 19 2012: The entire post, saying Beltran would be no good, and was just a way to replace Pujols. He wasn't, and had an excellent season. OH! AND ALSO: "they probably won't get back to the postseason without Pujols." Oh, gosh, now that one just HURT!

April 4th 2012: Mistakenly insinuating that A-Rod can still hit.

April 20th 2012: All of the stuff about the Orioles being in a tough spot, and how they'd always be in last.

April 22nd 2012: On David Freese: "Allow me to break the ice- the home run last year will be his defining act. He's the David Tyree of the MLB." He actually had a better season this year, which wasn't good for a Freese hater like me. Also, I just got that Freeze/ice joke, and I wrote the damn thing.

April 23rd 2012: " Hopefully we'll have a stronger May and June." Nope. The Phils kept sucking for the rest of the summer. They still had a decent August and September though.

April 29th 2012: "There, I said it Topps. Don't screw up with Harper." Yeah, they hammered him pretty well.

May 8th 2012: Brief summary of this post "Javy Guerra is a great closer and will be closing for the rest of the season!" "He got hurt, idiot" "Uhhhh....exit, stage right!"

May 28th 2012: "the two teams everyone thought would end up in last (Royals and White Sox) have been playing pretty well" By the end of the season, both teams would be shaking their heads.

June 14th 2012: "The man you see above currently holds the best ERA in the NL." Just days after I wrote this post, Beachy was yanked onto the DL. Oops.

June 16th 2012: "He's currently the Orioles' top ace." Days after I posted this one, Matusz got hurt and was switched to the bullpen. Oops?

June 19th 2012: "At least they still have Beckett." By the end of the season Beckett would be gone and Dice-K would be on the DL again.

June 30th 2012: On Brian Roberts: "I hope his injury-free streak sticks around awhile, too." It didn't.

July 5th 2012: On Zack Greinke: "So if and when this guy gets traded, I hope it's to a team that needs him." Did the Angels really need him? No. Do the Dodgers? Yes, they certainly do.

July 9th 2012: "Currently the Nationals, Pirates and White Sox are all in first place in their respective divisions"By the season's end, only one would still be atop their division, and look what happened to them.

August 20th 2012: "Hopefully, Adam will keep that arm healthy for a while." He didn't.

September 11th 2012: "Chris Sale and David Price are close behind, but it's Verlander's year." Price would end up taking the Cy Young from Verlander, in a controversial, but still kinda fitting, decision.

October 11th 2012:  On a picture of David Freese, "In other news...this guy neeeds to break a bone." Well...he, uh...he did. I brought this piece of irony to light the week of the car accident, but man, that one hurt.

November 7th 2012: " I want 2013 to have absolutely NOBODY to come out and say "hey, I took steroids." It really makes me mad, because then I'll lose respect for them, too." Not even a month later, my boy Chooch was outed for steroid use. NOT EVEN A MONTH LATER! Boy am I wrong a lot.


So, to sum up, I was incorrect countless times this year, especially in places where it counted. This is one of the best blogs to just read a year ago. I'm probably the worst oracle in the world, and I eat it up. In fact...here are five things I know aren't gonna come true:

1. Bonds, Clemens inducted into Baseball Hall of Fame, along with Jose Mesa.
2. Padres clinch their division.
3. Astros get a higher place in the division than the Angels.
4. Jason Bay will be named MVP
5. The Dodgers and White Sox will play each other in the World Series. And I say this because I myself predict it to happen.

I didn't mean literally...

 

Whenever there's a player that infuriates fans to the point of head-scratching-insanity, usually they wish terrible things upon them. I always hoped for Manny Ramirez to get struck by lightning, or for Kevin Youkilis to have Fenway Park implode in on him.

One time, when I was a young kid rooting for the Packers, I said aloud that "I wish Dante Culpepper would break his ankle" And while I don't think he did, his career was snapped in two anyway.

So wishing for bodily harm to come to a sports star is fine, unless it comes true.

Now you see where I'm going here.

This week, David Freese was injured in a car accident. He didn't die, and he didn't succumb to any massive injuries, but his car was totaled and a ray of sympathy went out for him. The accident puts this fan in an awkward situation; I may have said once or twice during the past two postseasons that the Cardinals would be a better team if David Freese got his by a car.

Once again, I was slain by horrible timing. For the 1,000th time. 

It's like saying "I wish Michael Jackson would just take a rest for a while". Or saying "I wish Brandon McCarthy would keep his head in check". It's terrible timing and it makes you look bad.

And yes, I do apologize for the previous two jokes. 

Back to Freese. What I said was nothing against his personality, but merely against his playing ability. He keeps having big games against teams I enjoy. It's a bit infuriating, in a Youk-esque way. I never actually wanted bodily harm to come to Freese, I just was frustrated that he was doing so well. 

So David Freese will rebound, and I'm definitely sure he'll be playing for St. Louis next year. Also, his salary allows him to get a new car. But am I still going to root against him? Probably. Unless he does something awesome that makes me regain trust in him.

But until then, it's back to wishing for his demise by way of airplane-jet-engine.

Custom Card of the Day: Rizzo Edition

 

Oh, the timing on this one. 

This post, which was supposed to be hailing the new rookie sensation for the Cubs, could not have come at a worse time for the team. This is brought to you by the same man who said the 2012 Phillies would clinch, and that Carlos Beltran would do nothing to help the Cardinals.

I made this custom two days ago. You know what else happened two days ago? The Cubs were repeatedly smashed against the side of the Citifield wall. It was kinda like a car crash...you kinda had to watch, but you felt bad doing it. And every time you'd poke your head in, things would get worse, or Ike Davis would hit a home run. It was ugly.

But, three days ago, all was well in Chicago. Anthony Rizzo was making his Cubs debut, or, according to stupid people, his ML debut. He played some games for the Padres last year people. Don't act like he's a rookie monster. Just because he's coming up huge this year doesn't mean he's a rookie (ESPN, you may wanna listen up. Mike Trout played games last year. A few of them, actually). 

And Rizzo actually hit well in his first game up. True, he didn't do as well as some other people back from the minors after a season away (Yeah, I'm still pretty happy about Utley), but he got some hits and riled the Chicago crowd, needing something to be amused by.

Of course, this amusement wore off, as the Cubs fell victim to the Mets...over, and over, and over again. And that was just in one game. Matter of fact, that game will be my supply of "Cubs are bad" jokes for the rest of the year. My work is cut out for me! 

Still, for a team that's been doing so poorly, a star rookie kinda needed to rise up, and I'm glad Rizzo's hitting so well. Him and Castro are some of the few Cubs that are playing the game correctly. 

Coming Tomorrow- The AL's version of "Eastern second-baseman coming back from injury and finally getting back into the swing of things, much to the joy of the crowd". While Utley may have won over the crowd a lot faster, this guy is helping his team to the top of the AL East.