Admit it, you knew this was coming.
After Kevin Youkilis thankfully emigrated from Boston, I was left with a choice: who do I hate now?
It was a tough one, since I loathed a lot of people on that team. It couldn't be Ortiz. The one rule is that I don't hate Papi, because I think he's one of the best DHs in the game right now. He's a good hitter too. It also couldn't be Cody Ross. I hate him, but I'm never making a custom of the man.
Who does that leave? Dustin Pedroia of course. Why do I hate him? Well...he's an infuriating player because he always hits against the Yankees, tries to contend against Cano for AS spots, and is just...a really loatheable player.
So...here are the Top 10 jokes I can make about Pedroia.
10. As a second baseman, he gets a good view of Josh Beckett's ass on a regular basis.
9. Doesn't even have facial hair, just remnants of fur, desperately trying to escape the end of the chin.
8. When he started playing, his shortstop in crime was Alex Cora. He was never the same since.
7. He won the rookie of the year the same season where Jon Lester, Daisuke Matsusaka and Hideki Okajima debuted. Which means, if anything, that voters were looking really hard.
6. Spent half of 2010 on the DL. The other half was spent on shelves as Series 2's poster girl- I mean boy.
5. The other New England star flaunts his long locks. He can't do that.
4. Someow won MVP in 2008. How? Experts are still trying to determine this.
3. Him being on the Red Sox this season is embarassing, but don't worry...if the Sox ever try to trade him, the team he's on will crash and burn.
2. Only in Boston can the town's main baseball star be a "qweeeah"
1. Nice hair. Did Bradshaw give you some tips?
I'm done. At least for a while.
Coming Tomorrow- Remember how I keep saying that Chien Ming Wang is the greatest Taiwanese baseball player. This guy might be #2. And it ain't Hong-Chi Kuo.