Monday, February 11, 2013

Baseball and the Grammy's: Kinda similar

This is sorta a day late, but it's not like I'll be marked off or anything.

Last night was the Grammy awards, the celebration of the best (and also most overrated) albums of the year, featuring, for no apparent reason, random performances. Today is really the start of baseball; pitchers and catchers report to spring training today, except for the one or two people who pull a Sparky Lyle and don't show up for a week.

Yet, under further inspection, both events are so alike that you're surprised when the MLB awards ceremonies don't take place in between the nominees 'performing' by hitting home runs into the audience.

So, for no apparent reason other than to stay relevant, I'll show the many ways that the music industry is similar to the baseball world, in some very convoluted, but still sorta appropriate, ways.

The Black Keys are like R.A. Dickey: Both have been around since the early 2000's, and people are juuuuust finding out how awesome they are. Unfortunately, future offerings don't look to be as memorable as their 2012 ones.

Taylor Swift is like Manny Ramirez: Both make it a point to cut ties with everyone they were previously acquainted with. For both, their performance in front of an audience doesn't exactly sound and feel the same as their performance in a studio.

Rihanna is like David Freese: Both have had so many offerings in the last three years that everyone in America has become sick of them. Both need to go away sometime soon.

Jay-Z is like Magic Johnson (owner of the Dodgers): Both own a franchise team of a sport they are not very acquainted in.

Coldplay is like Johnny Damon: Their last offering was so long ago that people tend to forget what they're still doing there. Both will likely be back (more likely for the band than the ex-Yankee)

Mumford and Sons is like Brian Wilson: Both are too quirky too last much longer. Both are known for their plentiful facial hair.

The Rolling Stones are like Chipper Jones: Both are absolutely legendary in their craft. Both have said their 2012 offering will be their last, and many fans are not happy with this.

Maroon 5 is like Tim Lincecum: Both were bright young stars of the late-2000's. Both have since become annoying and lackluster.

Phoenix is like Kosuke Fukudome: Both have a gigantic cult following overseas. Both were well lauded when the came to America, and haven't been the same as when they performed specifically for their home country. Both should probably go back home, as fame has made them kinda pathetic.

Paul McCartney is like Derek Jeter: Though their 2012 performances seemed to be showing their age, both are eternal, and both will always be legends, even way after their days with the Fab Four.

Green Day is like Alex Rodriguez: I appreciate the effort, as I saw a lot more of both of you this year, but there wasn't too much going on. Both need to go away for a little while.

Foo Fighters are like Mariano Rivera: Might be going away for a while. Shouldn't.

Well, that was fun, but I put way too much time into it, and I probably left out a heap of players/artists.

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