Sunday, September 8, 2013

Football Custom of the Day: RG3 Edition


So I'm going to be making week by week predictions for football this year. I'm doing this because football is easier to predict than baseball, because 17 > 162, and it's easier just to do one every sunday, rather than doing one every day. Besides, I've been wrong enough times this year, and I wanna be wrong some more. So here we go:

1 PM Games:

Patriots vs. Bills.
Who should win (read: who I'd like to win): Bills. It'd be a great football story if the underdog Bills came out right off the bat and took down the Patriots, who have been among the best teams in football for the last decade. Besides, it would be great if EJ Manuel had an RG3-esque debut, and it would be great if the Pats lost some games.
Who will win (probably): Patriots. This should be a no brainer. Though the Bills are slowly rebuilding, I imagine that Brady and the gang will mow them over in a heartbeat. Unless the Bills throw a surprise out, and EJ Manuel impresses, or unless the Patriots spontaneously combust, this should be a victory for NE.
Overall: Pats 21, Bills 10. Sadly.

Bengals vs. Bears.
Who should win: Tough, but I'll go with the Bengals, because I like them slightly better, and because they're not in the same division as one of my favorite teams. Besides, Andy Dalton's the most underrated QB in the game.
Who will win: In that matter, the Bengals, because they're the better team. Cutler's a great QB, and he's got a great offense, but I think the Bengals are a tad better. I could be wrong. The Bears could definitely kick ass here, but I'm seeing a Bengals victory, because I feel that being on Showtime's slate for the last two months has made them tighter.
Overall: Bengals 17, Bears 13. It will be close.

Dolphins vs. Browns.
Who should win: I'd prefer seeing the Browns win, regardless of the fact that I have a higher chance of growing a third arm than the Browns have of succeeding this season. Still, even though they have absolutely no chance of winning, it'd be nice to see them win for once.
Who will win: Yet I still have to give this to Miami. They've been inconsistent the last few years, but I think they're better than the Browns in multiple areas, such as they have a QB that's trusted, rather than one that they stuck on the roster because they couldn't find anybody else. Also, the Dolphins' best player isn't a defensive player who's highly revered by the fans, regardless of ability. Sorry, but I think Tannehill's gang should prevail here.
Overall: Dolphins 21, Browns 7. That's assuming the Browns will be tight enough to actually score a touchdown AND a field goal.

Falcons vs. Saints.
Who should win: Another tough one, because these are two great teams. Yet I'd rather see the Saints win, and it's because even though the Falcons are tough, I feel like they have enough power in them to overpower them. Besides, I prefer the Saints ONLY SLIGHTLY, because of their awesome fanbase. That being said...
Who will win: Falcons, easily. They're one of the best teams in football, they have a strong offense, even after losing Malcolm Turner, and they have greats like Matt Ryan and Tony Gonzalez. I just think they're a better team than the Saints, and this is assuming that they're both on the same page as they were last year, because it could go either way.
Overall: Falcons 13, Saints 13. Falcons win it in overtime. It'll be very close.

Buccaneers vs. Jets.
Who should win: Bucs, because they've improved so much over the last few years, from simply being one of the 'bad teams' to actually holding their own last year. And I happen to like Josh Freeman, regardless of his sudden and inexplicable demotion from captainship (which is totally bull). Also, the Jets suck.
Who will win: Bucs. The Bucs are stronger offensively, defensively, and actually have their stuff together, to a point where they can actually work cohesively to win games. The Jets lack all of this. Also, the Jets suck.
Overall: Buccaneers 24, Jets 7, although, like the Browns, that's being very generous towards Jersey.

Titans vs. Steelers.
Who should win: This is a conundrum to me, because these are two teams that weren't very good last year, plus two teams I don't particularly love. I just have to pick the team that I feel will suck the least, which will probably be Tennessee. Besides, I think if Jake Locker tries hard enough this season, he could become a much better quarterback.
Who will win: Steelers, because even everybody just left this year, I think they still can possibly win a few games this year, against opponents such as the Titans. I don't know if they will win, but they very well might.
Overall: Steelers 20, Titans 14, I guess.

Vikings vs. Lions.
Who should win: Vikings, because they have a bit more meat on them than the Lions. The Lions, with a few exceptions, have become a weak team again. Sure, they still have Megatron and Suh, but they have a lot of question marks, and they're kinda screwed being in a division with three great teams. So the Vikes will probably take it.
Who will win: Vikings again. They're the stronger team, even though Harvin just left. I think they can easily overpower the Lions, even though it's pretty evenly matched. This will be the season where Ponder breaks out, I think. If not...then I'm just wrong again, I guess.
Overall: Vikings 35, Lions 24. This one might not be as high scoring as I predict, though.

Raiders vs. Colts.
Who should win: Colts, obviously. If the Raiders weren't the worst team in football, and actually had tried and true talent in positions other than running back, I'd give this more consideration, but as much as I should like the Raiders for my dad's sake, they really have no chance.
Who will win: Colts, again. Andrew Luck is a question mark, as his numbers told the real story that his hype hid, but I imagine that now that the team is young again, they'll have no problem steamrolling over the Raiders. Like, I'll be surprised if the Raiders actually score.
Overall: Colts 21, Raiders 3.

Seahawks vs. Panthers.
Who should win: Wow, another overstacked matchup. I have to pick Seattle, because I like a lot of elements about them, and they seem like the better team of the two. Besides, I really, really, really like Russell Wilson. I think he's great for the game, and he's a terrific leader, as the tape shows from last year. I think that, without factoring in logistics, the Seahawks have a better chance of winning.
Who will win:...and when you DO factor in logistics, the Seahawks win anyway. They have two great wide receivers, who coincidentally used to play together in Minnesota. You have Marshawn Lynch, who's probably one of the best running backs in the game. You have, as said already, Russell Wilson. Also, the Panthers have just run out of steam, and Cam Newton is slowing down, as evident last season. Unless he gets his stuff together, the Hawks are gonna run right through him.
Overall: Seahawks 35, Panthers 14.

Chiefs vs. Jaguars.
Who should win: Chiefs. Here we have two thoroughly unspectacular teams, separated by how they performed during the offseason. The Jaguars mulled around getting Tim Tebow, but ended up doing basically nothing but picking up one or two minor stars and draft picks. The Chiefs got a new head coach, a new quarterback, and are heavily favored to at least do better than last season. From the getgo, it looks like Kansas City has their stuff together, unlike the Jags, whose quarterback is still kinda there because nobody else is a better choice.
Who will win: Chiefs, solely because Alex Smith will play better than he did last season, and because they have more versatility than just having one trusted player like the Jags do. Jones-Drew will do alright, but a team cannot survive with one good player. They have to have several, and Andy Reid did a nice job of stockpiling the team.
Overall: Chiefs 21, Jaguars 7.

4:25 PM Games, all two of them:

Packers vs. 49ers.
Who should win: Packers. First of all, WHY THE HELL WOULD THEY DO THIS? San Francisco has already crushed Green Bay twice last season. Do they wanna just put them through the pain again, gimme some more heartbreak? These Packers are the only team I root for, besides maybe Baltimore, that actually wins Super Bowls every once and a while. But either way, while this matchup is still kinda unfair, I would rather see the Packers pull out than the Niners, solely because it makes sense. They've lost a few times before. Maybe now they can beat them, and maybe Clay Matthews will tear Colin Kaepernick's tats right off his body. I'd pay for ringsides to see that.
Who will win: Ultimately, 49ers. As much as I love the Packers, I don't think they're as good as they were in 2010, and I don't think they can defeat the Niners. I think it'll be very close, closer than most of the other games on here, but because the Niners have the game's strongest defense, and the most durable offense, they'll run away with it. And this pains me, because I could be wrong. But still...you never know.
Overall: Niners 42, Packers 31. Though I could be wrong, and I hope I am.

Cardinals vs. Rams.
Who should win: Rams, solely because they did more during the offseason to make up for their own incompetence last season. And I'll agree that both teams are bad, but I think that, from the getgo, the Rams are less awful. Sam Bradford looks like he's improving, and Tavon Austin looks like he could be a good target.
Who will win: Rams, I guess. Again, with two subpar teams, it's hard to call it, but I say the Rams will pull out solely because their team looks tighter than Arizona right now. But right now, it's a tossup. It might be close, because both of them are kinda awful.
Overall: Rams 21, Cardinals 14.

8:30 PM Game:

Giants vs. Cowboys:
Who should win: Oh, gosh this is tough. It's like picking dying of cancer or dying by gunshot. It's a lesser of two evils here, which is sadly New York. They have better performers in each area, and I think they're a better team. Besides, I hate them a lot less than I hate the Cowboys. Tony Romo is lucky Jerry Jones likes him so much, or else he'd be playing for Jacksonville by now.
Who will win: Giants again, because they're so much better than the Cowboys. They have better running backs, a stronger defense, a much more consistent quarterback, and they have an advantage because they're not the Cowboys.
Overall: Giants 20, Cowboys 13.

The Monday night games:

Eagles vs. Redskins:
Who should win: Eagles, because I'm from the Philly area, and everybody around me keeps saying that 'oh, Chip Kelly's gonna turn it around', and 'Relax, Michael Vick's gonna be great this year', and 'Oh, RG3 was a one time thing', and 'Naw, the defense seems a hell of a lot stronger than last year', and 'Oh, it'll be like Andy Reid never existed', and 'It looks kinda hazy, but it's still our year'. And that says something, because they're so optimistic that this year's gonna be the year, that the skies are gonna open up, the Redskins are gonna fall apart at the half, Desean's gonna run the ball like crazy, and Chip Kelly will be chiseled next to Rocky in the heart of Philly. So the whole surroundings are really intent that the team will be great this year.
Who will win: Redskins. Because they're the Redskins. And because there's a difference between listening to what you want, and common sense.
Overall: Skins 28, Eagles 14. Unless I'm wrong, and unless the Eagles actually manage to be great this year, which I sincerely hope it true.

Texans vs. Chargers:
Who should win: Texans. I know everybody just seems to love Philip Rivers, but a great quarterback does not a Super Bowl make. Matt Schaub surrounds himself with an entire team of people who are good at their jobs, and he also has a great defense, so I have to give it to them, because they're the better team.
Who will win: Texans again. The Texans are easily going to shut down the Chargers' offense, mainly because the Chargers' offense consists of mostly rookies, aging players, Philip Rivers and Ryan Mathews. And it's the exact opposite, too, in that the Chargers have little to no defense, while the Texans' offense is actually pretty good. Plus, I happen to think that Matt Schaub is better than Philip Rivers, especially now.
Overall: Texans 21, Chargers 10.

Again, I could be wrong, and I probably will be, but this is just what I think will go down. And in a few days, I'll see how absolutely wrong/right I was.

But let's throw something else in here. If 8/15 or more of my predictions are right, and what I mean is the prediction of who wins, not the score, I'll customize whichever football players you guys want for the next week. If 8/15 of more of my predictions are wrong, I'll have no choice but to customize a Cowboys, Giants, Steelers or Patriots player. So either way...

Coming Tomorrow- I need to make more, but expect...somebody.

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