Saturday, January 21, 2012

Oh the InhuManny-ty

There was a brief moment last year where I thought the wrath of Manny Ramirez had finally subsided, that he finally had crawled back into his hole, and retired from baseball.

Then I remembered how many times they killed off Jason Voorhees. And subsequently, how many times he came back. And how this situation was no different.

Sure enough, last year there were musings about how Manny Ramirez wanted to come back, despite the fact that the original plan was him staying home and not playing baseball anymore. I at first compared this to the desire for Terrell Owens to get back into football, and the fact that nobody showed up to his workout. I thought Manny 2.0 would crash and burn, sort of like how the returns of Hideo Nomo, Satchell Paige, and Jim Palmer were rightfully short lived. Of course, this being Manny Ramirez we're talking about, that obviously wouldn't be the case.

Right now there are rumors that the Oakland A's, of all people, want Manny to be their DH. And I understand their modivation. In Oakland, it's basically 2002 all over again. Bailey, Gonzalez and DeJesus have flown the coop, leaving only a few stars (Suzuki's still there, right), and a few question marks left unsigned. Right now the A's are practically poo-poo. And if they had Manny Ramirez, then they'd be a little less sucky.

But my infuriation lies not with Oakland. I think the A's are a fun team to watch. My infuriation lies with the DH in question. Becuase if there is one major league player, current or former, whose demise I wish for nightly, it is Manny Ramirez. And the demise usually involves him being hit by a truck. Filled with matches and gasoline in that matter.

When Manny retired I said good riddance. Hell, I even made that the title of the damn blog post. I was so happy I didn't have to deal with Manny anymore. The AL East was finally clean of its horrors, much like the end of Ghostbusters. And then, a year or so later, he comes back, even after everyone knows he took steroids. After the press took a gigantic dump on his legacy, Manny still wants to play. I can't understand that.

If the A's eventually sign Manny, then I hope he crashes and burns quicker than Charlie Sheen's limo. If not, and if Manny sinks back into obscurity until 2017, when his name comes up for HOF election, I will cherish all six years where I don't have to hear his name.

And even if he comes back, it's basically another chapter in Manny Being Manny. Hopefully Manny himself will be the one to close the book this time.

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