Wednesday, December 5, 2012



There were 28 other teams you could have signed with! Why did you have to pick my least favorite, the Red Sox?

It's bad enough that you'll be sharing a bench with Ortiz and Pedroia, but the worst part is you'll be playing my Yankees WAY more often. And that's sad. I don't wanna have to root against you. You were such a fun player when you were with the Phillies.

So once the years are up, or maybe before, go somewhere else where I won't absolutely despise you. Please.

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