Sunday, July 4, 2010

Well, they're not MY all stars...

I glanced at the rosters for the upcoming All Star Game today. Let's just say I'm not the happiest. I mean, when an aging, 40+ year old pitcher gets nominated, what's the world coming to. So I'm gonna run down the AL roster, and revise it if I must. Because most of the guys on the list shouldn't be all stars.


C: Joe Mauer. Vote for him. Okay.
1B: Justin Morneau. Would have thought someone else would be more worthy, but I'll deal.
2B: CANOOOOOOOOO. Affirmative.
3B: Evan Longoria. Respectable. I mean, he'll do.
OF: Josh Hamilton, Ichiro and Carl Crawford. Yeah, they'd make my list.

OF: Torrii Hunter, Vernon Wells. Okay.
C: John Buck. Uh....maybe someone else...oh, wait, they're all injured. Maybe Wieters?
Other reserves:
Ty Wiggington- WUHBUTTEHYEEHHHHH? How does THIS GUY...over Wieters, Jones, Tejada, Reimold, Scott...the entire freakin team...get the All Star nod? HOW?
Adrian Beltre. Smile all ya want ya overrated hunk of Boston Garbage (TM)
David Ortiz. I don't hate you. Move along.
Miguel Cabrera. You deserve it. A shame you didn't start.
Alex Rodriguez. WELL DUHHHHH! Of COURSE you nominate A-Rod. It's in the Bible "Thou shalt nominate A-rod for all star game"
Elvis Andrus. You know, if the kid's living up to the hype, I'll take it.
Ian Kinsler. I'll take that one too. At least you're replacing Pedrooooooia.
Jose Bautista. Okay, I'll say it. Most underrated player in Baseball.

CC Sabathia. Of course.
Fausto Carmona- Excuse me? You don't even lay a finger on Strasburg and yet you put in FAUSTO STINKING CARMONA? For Shame, MLB
Phil Hughes- because you, of all people, need to give some respect where it's due.
David Price and Neftali Feliz- the hypemeisters get in for free.
Mariano Rivera. You better bow, MLB.
Matt Thornton- UBUTENYEH? Over Quentin, Ramirez, and even Gordon Beckham?
Jose Valverde. Okay.
Cliff Lee. If only he was still a Phillie.
Trevor Cahill. And not Andrew Bailey? Wow.
Joakim Soria. Okay.

I'm not even gonna go into the NL roster (You leave out Strasburg, but you put in ARTHUR FREAKIN RHODES? And who the hell is Evan Meek?), but just the AL alone is dumb. I mean, the All Star game used to be a dynasty where the FANS voted for the BEST players to play against each other. But instead, we get players like Omar Infante, Matt Thornton, Ty Wiggington and Arthur Rhodes...over big stars like Steven Strasburg and even Mark Teixiera.

This is not our All Star team. This is the SOME Star team.


  1. as soon as I saw an over the hill Jeter named to the team, I knew it was yet another joke year.

  2. Dude, Rhodes just went 40 innings without giving up a run. I think that should merit some sort of all star consideration.

    Strasburg didn't do that, did he?