Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Custom Card of the Day: Freese Edition


(Footage of David Freese playing ball).

ANNOUNCER: David Freese. St. Louis' Hero. To many, he's a saint. But to most...

(Shot of Freese's face turns red)

ANNOUNCER: He's a scoundrel.

Cut to a man in a regular sports shirt.

GUY #1: David Freese refused to sign my kid's ball. He also refused to sign his cap, his baseball card, his rally squirrel, and him.

Cut to another guy.

GUY #2: David Freese drenched my house with Gatorade, and laughed maniacally at us.

Cut to Ryan Howard.

RYAN HOWARD: David Freese sprained my ankle, and refused to fess up for it. Also, he's the devil's spawn.

Back to a shot of Freese, zooming closer to the camera.

ANNOUNCER: David Freese...not a champion...not a hero...not America's choice. 

(Paid for by the Association for Voting Bryce Harper to the All Star Game)

BRYCE HARPER: I'm Bryce Harper, and I approve of this Clown Question.


Coming Tomorrow- He should have been voted to the All Star Game. Most sportswriters are baffled by this. Hopefully, a spot will open up, and this former Cy Young Award winner will return to the ASG.

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