Brownie Points

 

The best way I can describe the 2022 Oakland A's is that they have a Cy Young caliber pitcher by complete accident. 

The A's, in a year where tanking is frowned upon, decided to tank anyway. Sean Manaea gets traded, Chris Bassitt gets traded, Mike Fiers doesn't get re-signed. And you figure they wanted to trade Frankie Montas, and might get to do it midseason anyway. So the idea is, trade away all the good pitchers, team loses a lot of games, in come draft picks hopefully. Keep the rotation bad, let the good pitchers come up.

And then...they forgot that they had a really good pitcher left, cause he's been injured the past few years. So now Paul Blackburn's 6-2 with a 2.26 ERA and now all of them look silly. You know, 'come see our team with all these bad pitchers and this one really good one we forgot we had.'

This is like the plot of a 90s film or something. You know? Joe Pesci plays an MLB manager determined to tank his team and sell it to european industrialists, then retire to Guam. And the one guy getting in the way of doing this is the new golden boy pitcher, played, I'm assuming, by Brendan Fraser, who can't stop winning games. So Pesci tries to have him killed, he narrowly avoids death, and things get worse for Pesci. Like a cross between Major League, Mouse Hunt and Death to Smoochy. Call it Splitting the Ace, give it an August release, it's the surprise hit of 1994. 

If it seems like I'm struggling to figure out how to write about this A's team, it's because there's not really a ton to talk about. Nobody in the lineup is hitting over .250, and the top hitter on the team seems to be Christian Bethancourt, whom nobody has thought about since 2014. Seth Brown is leading the team in home runs with a blistering EIGHT. Cristian Pache is an incredible outfielder with a -15 batting runs average. Ramon Laureano, Tony Kemp, Elvis Andrus and Chad Pinder are doing nothing to keep the momentum of the old squads going. Jared Koenig has joined Adam Oller and Zach Logue as call-ups who can't seem to keep MLB runs down. It's just a dull, unexciting mess, and I feel bad for A's fans that their GM had to tank as well.

If they trade Blackburn, they're gonna riot, pretty much. Nobody's going to games, then even less people will go to games, and then Manfred will come in like 'what's this? A baseball stadium that's RANDOMLY APPEARED IN LAS VERGAS?'.

Coming Tomorrow- A recent comeback story that's actually persisted. 

Ozz: The Great and Powerful

 So. The Braves still haven't completely sprouted wings yet. 

I wish there was a real solid answer as to why this team hasn't exactly lived up to the expectations of fans, sportswriters, and themselves, but even with some of the best performers in the game right now under their wing, the Braves are still in third in the NL East, below .500, and behind the Philadelphia Phillies. This is not a good place to be. At all.

Additionally, the Braves are in the midst of series' with the Cardinals and Mets, and have some more tumultuous opponent work before they get to a pretty breezy pre-ASG run. So the goal is to not have the Mets humiliate them, even if the Mets are several games over .500, have a better pitching staff and have more upward momentum.

If I sound like I'm being particularly harsh towards the Braves right now, it's because the Sixers play the Hawks in a bit and I'm really dang nervous that the Sixers might get trounced again before they even get to an understandable place to lose. 

Rightrightright GOOD THINGS. GOOD THINGS ABOUT THE BRAVES. 

Well...Ronald Acuna is still one of the best players in baseball, and he has 18 homers, 43 RBIs and 15 stolen bases, all making him imperative to both the Braves and baseball. Especially baseball- we need more people like Ronald Acuna. Thankfully his rookie battery partner Ozzie Albies is also having a nice season, getting a lot of ASG voting traction, and also has 43 RBIs. Albies is 24 [CRAP HE'S YOUNGER THAN ME], and he's established himself as a steady 2nd baseman bat that can also do really well defensively. He has the several-dimensional stuff that you don't hear about a lot in Acuna's shadow, and he's worth a great chunk of the publicity.

This is also just a really nice season for this lineup- pretty much everybody is aligning, the stragglers, like Freeman and Swanson, are heating up, and the bench is supplanting this unit pretty well. We may not have Marcell Ozuna and Travis D'Arnaud right now, but this is still a relatively contact-friendly bunch. 

Now, the starting rotation still needs some work, everyone except for Ian Anderson needs to work on keeping runs down, and Tucker Davidson picked the exact wrong time to land on the IL. And that whole factor is spoiling what could be a decent come-up for the Braves. Even the bullpen feels a little messy this year, and only Luke Jackson has an ERA under 3, which is kinda scary. Will Smith is still efficient enough in the ninth, but he's not delivering what the Braves had in mind when they signed him. 

So...the Braves are kinda stuck in this rut. Trying to figure out how to get out. Coasting a little on Acuna and Albies. I hope they figure something out. In the interim though, go Sixers.

Coming Tomorrow- Two-time all-MLB hits leader, currently leading in steals, still one of the reasons to come to a game at the K. 

Topps Cards That Should Have Been: The Nomar Chronicles

Topps SHB #12: 2008 Nomar Garciaparra, Los Angeles Dodgers

 Topps' contractual meddling will never cease to annoy me.

Takes them an extra 4 years to rope Alex Rodriguez in. Takes an extra 2 years to rope Hideki Matsui in. Then in 2006, we lose Nomar Garciaparra, they don't re-up with him til after he's retired. In 2009, Matt Wieters signs with Upper Deck and Panini, but not Topps, and they eventually get him in 2016. So now they have everybody, right? Well in 2018 they lose Madison Bumgarner, and now only Panini makes cards of him. However Topps keeps screwing this up, they're clearly good at it.

Because of this meddling, former Boston great Nomar Garciaparra's Topps legacy ends in 2006, with his Update card with the Los Angeles Dodgers. His career goes on for three more years, even if Topps doesn't seem to care.

My photo source only goes back as far as 2007, so for the purpose of this project, we start in 2008. Nomar Garciaparra is a charter member of the division-leading, NLCS contending 2008 Dodgers. Nowadays, that sort of thing would be depicted on a card, but Topps was led by Michael Eisner at the time, which should explain everything.

Nomar's 2008 season was marred by injuries from the start, but eventually he became a starting shortstop due to an injury to Rafael Furcal, and started heating up along with the team in August. He hit .264 in only 55 games in 2008, but was still a crucial member of the team, and a notable bench player in the postseason, hitting .429 in 7 at-bats.

Topps SHB #13: 2009 Nomar Garciaparra, Oakland Athletics

Nomar's 2009 season with the A's was an improvement on several levels, as he hit .284 in 65 games, and returned to his contact sensibilities with a very low-budget team. Again, he was used as a bench player, and slowly phased out in favor of players like Daric Barton and Jack Cust, but he was still a trusted veteran presence on a team that was very youth-based. It may not have been an ideal final season for Nomar, but he ended with dignity and respect, which is all that a Red Sox alum should ever want.

After that, Nomar hung up his cleats and switched to broadcasting, and has appeared in numerous Topps sets as a Red Sock. I doubt Topps will ever acknowledge Nomar's stints in LA or Oakland, or even Chicago, but I guess that's why I do this- to cover for Topps when they have these blind spots like this.

This reminds me...I have a ton of Matt Wieters cards to make for this project, don't I?

Everything You Know is Wong

[A new music pun streak begins, because...I forgot about the one we had going when I wrote the earlier post]

Game of Thrones ended this year. You all know that.

The reason why people didn't like the end of this show is because when David Benioff and D.B. Weiss took over the writing responsibilities from George R.R. Martin, they had a vague idea about where to take the plot, which differed from what Martin had in mind. They had to take a story that had a beginning and middle that were so well crafted...and making an ending. So when the ending wasn't cohesive with what people wanted, people got mad because it seemed to lose the plot.

...what does this have to do with baseball, you might ask? Nothing, I just wanted to talk about TV for sec

...no, it does, it just...I don't wanna write this frigging post again

[Loud, exhausted sigh]

Once again, the Cardinals have wound up in first place. Why, when there are competent teams like Milwaukee and Chicago in the mix? Because life is cruel. And because baseball, like Game of Thrones, can occasionally lose the narrative and piss everybody off. It doesn't matter if the season started with the Brewers and Cubs being the stars. The Cardinals have the momentum in July, so I guess that means they're gonna run with it, and we're gonna get another goddamned Red Sox-Cardinals series, and...aughhh

Look...it's not that the Cardinals are bad this year. They're not. But the Cubs have 7 players over 2.0 WAR, the Brewers have 4. Cards have 3. DeJong, Wong and Goldy. With the exception of Goldy, they're not...carrying the team. They're not the big stars that make you go to games. They're just a pair of infielders who make good contact. If you're in first place, and you just have that, PLUS a 112-strikeout Paul Goldschmidt performance, you shouldn't be in first. I don't care who you are.

The Cards have lost 4 games since the ASG break, and with the exception of their most recent loss, they've all come at the hands of non-competitive teams, Arizona, Pittsburgh and Cincinnati. Their starters have progressed so that only Michael Wacha has an ERA over 5, but no one has an ERA under 3.50, and only Jack Flaherty has over 100 strikeouts. With the injury to Jordan Hicks, their only choices in the ninth are Andrew Miller and John Gant, who've given varying degrees of progress.

This is also a team without Matt Carpenter, Marcell Ozuna and Yadier Molina. So I doubt they'll be in first for long.

I don't know if this team is for real, but...with all the flaws, it's only a matter of time before the Cubs overtake them again.

Coming Tomorrow- So what if he's not pitching this year. He's still hitting like hell.

Ray Ban

I think the first time Robbie Ray came on my radar was when he finished a season with an 8-15 record, still had 218 strikeouts, and everyone started bringing up the 'are strikeouts more important than wins' thing, which...they are, wins don't mean shit anymore, just ask Felix Hernandez and his Cy Young award. But everyone was saying that despite this bad W/L ratio and 4.90 ERA, that Robbie Ray had finished a fantastic season and deserved a closer look.

Which...look, I've never been a fan of stat-twisting. Just in principal, I don't like it because it allows me to have to look at something I already see one way, and squint at it until I see it in the way everyone else wants me to. It's like...in 2016, people tried to convince me that James Paxton was a good pitcher, and nothing statistically or even in person was selling that (until 2017, that is). Or like how Jorge Polanco was getting praise from sabermetric guys despite doing absolutely nothing until this year.

I mean, thankfully Robbie Ray had a much better season in 2017, despite...having the exact same amount of strikeouts as he did in 2016, and became a mainstay in the Arizona rotation. But now...Ray's having arguably the same problem that he did in 2016. He's got 137 strikeouts, a team high, and a 3.96 ERA, but a completely even W/L ratio, and he's leading the league in walks. There must be a glitch on BR dot com's page, because the D-Backs page list his WAR as .8, while his player page says his seasonal WAR is 1.2.

Weird when the algorithm's doing the stat-twisting, but...this is the dystopia we've chosen to live in.

The weirdest part is that Robbie Ray, in all his...okay-ness and twisted stats, is that he's being listed as a trade target from MY OWN NEW YORK YANKEES. THAT'S RIGHT. First JA Happ's troubling stats weren't enough, then James Paxton's troubling stats weren't enough, so WE MIGHT ADD A THIRD GUY WHO GETS A LOT OF STRIKEOUTS BUT DOESN'T WIN MANY GAMES. Because we CLEARLY NEED MORE OF THOSE.

[cough]

Okay, now with reason.

Robbie Ray could be a good fit as a Yankee. I could be very wrong, and he could come to life in the Bronx. But his stats so far this year...aren't assuring me. They're good, don't get me wrong, but they could be better. Especially in the wins column. We could be signing up for Lance Lynn 2.0, and I don't want him to become another Lance Lynn. We already have the 1.

I mean, again...I'd love to be wrong. We could trade for him and he could be great, but...I just worry. And maybe I'm even more wrong, somebody else trades for him and he becomes a major threat.

Look, this post may not age well...like...most posts I write, but I want to get across the fact that I like Robbie Ray, and he's one of the deadliest strikeout artists up there, and...I hope he keeps things up, no matter who he finishes the season with.

Coming Tomorrow- We've got a lot of sets of brothers in the MLB right now, but these two are the only ones I can think of where both are on amusing hitting streaks. Here's the younger one, playing for the worse team.

This Week on HGTV: Tractor Talk with Jay Buhner

[Mildly-cool public domain guitar riff]

"Hi, I'm Jay Buhner. And this is my tractor.

I've been plowing fields, diggin' stuff up, and scrapin' dirt for the last 18 years. And I wanna share my tractor tales with you, the HGTV viewing public, or the college kids who are home at your mom's, and don't have the decency to tell her to put something else on. Also, I used to play for the Mariners.

Watch me MEASURE DIRT!

Watch me PLANT GRASS!

Watch me ARGUE WITH SHOP OWNERS ABOUT SEEDS!

Watch me CRADLE MY SON'S HEAD AFTER HE'S DONE SOMETHING I AM PROUD OF.

IT'S OKAY SON

FATHER IS PROUD OF YOU

So be sure to watch Tractor Talk, with ME, Jay Buhner! Sundays at 3 AM on HGTV

...Wait, WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOING?

VIEWERS??

SON???"

At Least the Reds Still Have Billy Hamilton

The Reds have lost a lot in the last year and a half, with Johnny Cueto, Mike Leake, Jay Bruce and Todd Frazier, the meat of the team, all leaving in search of playoff competitors. Joey Votto and Brandon Phillips are still there, but most of the youth movement is gone.

...Except for Billy Hamilton of course, who's still one of the best base stealers in baseball.

That's the thing. Billy Hamilton's a fun player. He's not, like Rickey Henderson. He's not a PERFECT player, but for a guy who steals a ton of bases per year, and who hits for average...he's pretty damn cool. What's more...he's fun. And the Reds NEED fun right now, because a lot of the fun is leaving. This is probably a fourth or fifth place team, and it's one that needs a rebuild sometime soon. But if Billy Hamilton can run in and make it fun and throw some SBs around every game or so...that brings people in. That makes sure the fans have something to come back for.

I do think that Votto and Hamilton could anchor another great Reds team, but that would imply that the farm system will spit out a ton of greatness in the next few years. Still...it's a nice dream.

Coming Tonight: SURPRISE SURPRISE, THE ASTROS ARE HOT AGAIN! Here's their bulky garbageman DH.

It's Not Looking Too Good...

All I'm thinking about right now is Rocky.

You've all seen Rocky. I've seen it a million times, and that's cause I'm from Philly. You know how it goes. Million to one shot gets up against the very best. Gets knocked down, stays on his feet for the end of the round. Loses by default, basically. But he's still triumphant that he's stayed on his feet.

I mean, yeah, great ending, deserved the Oscar, but...didn't everybody in that theater want Rocky to win the fight? I mean yeah, Apollo Creed is great and all, but the movie is not called Creed. That is an entirely different movie in the franchise, and hopefully one where somebody named Creed wins.

Why the hell do you think they made a Rocky 2. Because he needed to win one. It was a disappointment that he didn't win the first one, because they built it like he was gonna win, and they built it like he was gonna take it...and he lost, yeah, and people went "yeah, that's a great ending", but it wasn't satisfying enough. Any sports movie, main guys got to win. It's a law. Rocky 2, they did it right, because Rocky wins.

That's how this NLCS is making me feel right now. The narrative this season has had thus far is 'hey, look at how amazing the Cubs are. They could actually win this whole thing'. The Cubs have one of the best pitchers in baseball, Jake Arrieta...and there the Mets go chewing him out for their second win so far, going to Wrigley.

I mean, yeah, the Cubs can lose some games, but not like this. Cubs aren't really trying. They're just allowing themselves to be taken out by the Mets, like the whole season hasn't meant anything. This is gonna turn out like Rocky, where they're gonna be toe-to-toe with the Mets, and they're still not gonna come out on top. And I'm gonna hate it, because I love how amazing the Cubs have been thus far, and I don't want this story to end.

Once they get back to Chicago, there needs to be a complete turnaround. They need to start hitting again, or else the Mets are gonna win, and they're gonna destroy what could have been the feel-good hit of the year.

I will say this though. If they end up on their backs this year...that means next year they get to win it for Adrian. That means they get to win when it really means something.

Hoping for the best for the Cubs, while still prepared for either outcome.

Custom Card of the Night: Shields Edition

We were a little worried about James Shields.

When the postseason began, and people began to get gobbled up, people started posting their opinions on the inter webs about who was a good deal, and who was not worth a damn thing. And I saw, a bunch of times, articles on ESPN or SI or whatever, saying DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER SIGN JAMES SHIELDS.

Which was news to me.

I mean it, they had articles saying 'if you're thinking that these people will get signed quickly, think again, because given a high contract, they could be trouble.' And James Shields kept showing up on these lists. And that was...surprising, because Shields had a wonderful season in Kansas City last year, and has been one of the more reliable pitchers out there for the last couple seasons. So I was like, 'people don't WANT this guy? Hmm."

And sure enough, months went by, and he was still on the table. Him and Scherzer. And I'm like "you can't seriously expect me to believe that people don't WANT THESE GUYS. Max Scherzer's one of the best pitcher in baseball, and James Shields was a huge part of why that Royals team got to the World Series. WHAT GIVES?" And I was worried that he wouldn't get signed, which is the kind of thing you'd worry about over a 38 year-old.

But, lo and behold, San Diego came through and snatched him, because I think San Diego's GM said "what, we don't have HIM yet?? We've got everybody else." And so they grabbed him, threw him on the rotation, realized they had a Shields-Ross-Cashner-Kennedy combo, and cheered.

So far, James Shields has been pretty great for the Padres, throwing some nice games, nabbing some wins, and being the dominant, strikeout-throwing presence he was in the AL. So I don't think people should be too worried. If he starts becoming Roy Oswalt and stops being competent halfway through the contract, THEN I'd get worried.

But yeah, Shields is playing pretty well. So, to all those guys who said 'DON'T SIGN HIM!', well...nyeehhhh!

Coming Tomorrow- The Indians are a non-factor this season, but slowly, and surely, their top hitter is definitely becoming a factor.

Custom Card of the Day: Phillips Edition

I'm going to use this really nice Brandon Phillips custom to make a statement about something I really, really don't like about the All Star Game.

No, not that one.

Or any of these.

No, this one's a new one. One that that is making its debut this year, at least in the world of baseball.

You see, this year the All Star rosters will be announced not by a press release, or the managers simply posting them online, but on a 30-minute-long special on ESPN (or MLB Network, one of the two).

Let me give you a few reasons why this pisses me off.

1. You do not need thirty minutes to give two sets of rosters for an All Star Game, MLB or no. You can just as well say 'LOOK. LISTS. HERE THEY ARE', instead of just padding out thirty minutes for something that could be resolved in two.
2. Because this is a thirty minute block, this means that there will be approximately five minutes of actually giving the fricking rosters, and therefore there will be SEVENTEEN EXTRA MINUTES of just people f--king talking about them. We do not NEED seventeen minutes of sportswriters talking about this shit. That is what we have our own opinions for.
3. If somebody we really like that really deserves it doesn't make the cut, we go 'oh, that really sucks'. Meanwhile, the sportswriters will spend two minutes talking about why, how, and all the above about this one player that didn't make it. WE CAME FOR ROSTERS. TWO SETS OF ROSTERS. NOT OPINIONS ON EVERY PLAYER NOT ON SAID SETS OF ROSTERS.
4. The sportswriters know as well as we do that they will be gasping to fill time in between the announcements of the rosters, so it will turn out like a condensed version of one of those Results Shows for one of your favorite reality shows. You get a lot of filler, padding, things we really don't need to see, a shitload of commercials to placate you more, and then we get what you actually came to see, only 51 minutes later than it should have been. It's television's equivalent of supermarkets strategically placing a bunch of crap in front of the milk, eggs and bread, AKA the only shit you actually came to see. Yeah, it's exhausting, but when there's so much else to exploit, what's the point of just, you know, GIVING THE PEOPLE EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANTED AND NOTHING ELSE?

(takes asprin)

So really, the sportswriters will be struggling to find anything to talk about that's actually important. Don't be surprised if somebody brings up LeBron James just to feel refreshed again.
5. The NBA did this tactic first, but the NBA already has a lot of flair, pomp, circumstance, etc. Plus, they actually get the players there as they announce that they'll be on the team, which makes it kind of cool, and showy and drawn out FOR A REASON. NFL started doing it this year because...hey, Deion Sanders isn't on TV enough already! No, but NFL's version was a lazy, 30 minute 'picking teams' ceremony that could have been handled in a press release. So the MLB is taking the advice from the wrong role model here, in simply standing on TV, talking about crap, and THEN giving the rosters.

But wouldn't it be really cool if they did what the NBA does? If they had people like Giancarlo Stanton, Yasiel Puig, Albert Pujols and Derek Jeter showing up onstage when there name's called, to a sea of adoring fans and stuff like that? Wouldn't that be awesome? Why can't the MLB do THAT?

There. Rant over. Tomorrow night, you'll have your rosters, and I'll react to them in full. But if they botch this somehow, then you'll have another rant on your hands.

Coming Tomorrow- A Braves outfielder that I always make customs of early on.

The Five Stages of Not Having 2014 Topps

(In this blog post, the part of Jordan will be played by Daffy Duck)

STAGE ONE: SHOCK

Wow, 2014 Topps Series One's out already?

Doesn't it always just creep up on you? Like, you're going around, biding your time, reading the funny pages, and then BOOM. 2014 Topps. You don't expect it.

I'm still thinking about football, too. I've got a Super Bowl to prepare for, one I actually might be attending (!!!!!), and I'm still picking up random packs of, like, Strata and Rookies&Stars and stuff. But now I gotta think about baseball cards. Quite a transition.

STAGE TWO: PRIDE

I don't need 2014 Topps. I still have some Stadium Club to sort.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! From all those boxes I busted. I still need to take inventory, post wantlists, and maybe some tradebait. I need to reaffirm my status as a blogger that actually means something. I've been doing this shit for five years.

Besides, the 90's Stadium Club is so much cooler. The full bleed photos, the risky ideas, the photography. THE EFFORT. ALL THAT EFFORT PUT IN THERE IS UNRIVALED! Especially by today's sets. 2013 Topps, they slap on a logo. They don't spend time thinking 'how do I make this fun?'

No, I'm too good for 2014 Topps. I have nostalgia to rely on. I have the classics. Who needs Daft Punk when you've got the Rolling Stones, man? (Don't answer that, Night Owl)

STAGE THREE: DISBELIEF

...Good gracious, this set actually looks good.

The photography. The designs. The 89 minis. Coco Crisp's hair. Man, this might be their return to form. I mean yeah, there'll still be short prints and parallels out the wazoo, but this photography REMINDS ME of some of the Stadium Club sets I'm defending. Dugout shots, throwbacks, double plays, plays at the plate. Fun photography.

Topps could actually be harkening back to their glory days.

wait...

(rereads last sentence)

...TOPPS COULD ACTUALLY BE LISTENING TO ME!

STAGE FOUR: JEALOUSY

...Why the hell don't I have any of that?

Why the hell couldn't I have just hit Target today? Oh right. I don't have a car, I'm a poor teen, and I'm a high schooler.

Why the hell did I look at the blogs? Why did I have such a pining for seeing other people's crap? Oh, right. That's what lured me to this in the first place. And I can't back out now. NOOOONO. Not now.

...why couldn't it have been me? Why couldn't it be like 2009, where I just happen upon Series 1 on a whim, before anybody else, and I flaunt it to the (nonexistent) masses? Why does it always have to be everybody else that gets all the good crap?

(realizes he's pulled a Peyton Manning jersey, a Posey/Bench dual game used, an Andrew McCutchen jersey and countless other awesome stuff.)

...YEAH, BUT STILL

STAGE FIVE: ANXIOUSNESS

...Man, I've gotta get my hands on some.

Wait until I get a racker. Or a hanger box. Or anything. I'll tear it to shreds right there in the store. I'll shake it around and throttle a box like it's a damned Bop-It.

Actually no. Pay first. Shake later.

I'll buy out the entire store's worth of Topps. Screw budgets. Screw gift card balances. Screw college funds. I'll take it all. Then I'll drag it out for the rest of the year. Into October. Hey, Update's out. SCREW YOU. I'VE GOT SERIES ONE.

I just need...for it...to get to the Philly area...I'm like Jack Torrance at the end of the Shining over here.

Guhhh...muhh..

..

Well, I guess all that remains is just to dream. To still check out the blogs, see what they get, and wait to experience it for yourself.

Boy, that'll be something.